Writing a How To Guide

I recently (as in 5 minutes ago) joined the eHow website as a way to earn some extra money while at the same time being able to write. Here are some of the topics they suggested I write about...

How to Wrap Hair at Bedtime

How to Wrap Hands How to Write a Thriller Script

How to Write an Adult Film

How to Write an HTML Email

How to Write Bb Clarinet Music

How to Write Greeting Cards

How to Build a Fiberglass Overhead Console

How to Soundproof a Bedroom

How to Touch Up Car Paint

How to Wear a Baby Sling

Sadly I do not know "How to" do ANY of these things, unless you count pulling out the nail polish to cover up the scratch you put on daddy's mustang the same as touching up car paint. Yes even the Baby Sling eludes me. I just carried my babies. And although writing about "How to write and Adult Film" sounds enticing. (About as enticing as writing about "How to pull of your finger nails") I think I am a bit lost.

If I am sticking with things I DO know how to do, then my list is going to look a bit more like this...

How to Choose Which Color Pen to Edit With (Pink of course!)

How to Travel with a Gnome by Your Side

How to Sweep a Floor 10 Times a Day

How to Put off Doing the Laundry All Week

How to Drink a Glass of Wine

How to Convince a Four Year Old to Take a Nap

How to Annoy Your Husband (by Writing All Day instead of Cooking Dinner)

How to Pull of a Clean House in the Last 10 Minutes Before Your Husband Gets Home

How to Eat a Tub of Raspberry Sorbet in One Serving

How to Prepare for the Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince Movie

How to Microwave a Hot Dog

Now THESE things I could write articles about....do you think I'm on the right track?