What two items do NOT fit in this picture?

Ooh ooh...I love these games!!! Ok well I don't have an actual VISUAL picture, but I'm going to paint one with my words. (Doesn't it sound so creative of me?)

I received a call from my husband yesterday suggesting it was time we join a gym. (I then choked on whatever I was eating, drinking, or possibly my own spit at that moment from the shock.) I'm not sure where the urge came from, but he was super excited and had the gym picked out and everything. Sweet!!! So I went online and looked at the website then called the facility for more information. I set up an appointment for right after my husband got out of work because I was also excited.

I then called my husband back and let him know the finer details and he requested I come get him from work early so we could get the membership and exercise going! Wow...he was quite excited for someone who prefers to play video games than play catch. Who was this and where had they hidden my husband? (And could they possibly keep him locked up there because I kinda like this new guy!) So I gather up all our work out clothes, our bathing suits (Um problem.....kids don't have bathing suits that fit! CRAP!!!) and stick the kids in some sporty outfits so they fit the profile of children who like to work out. (Not sure why....I just felt it was appropriate. Probably cuz they looked so cute!) I throw everything together into a two different bags, (one for the boys and one for the girls of course) grab the tennis rackets and head out the door.

Of course my kids, being the curious little devils that they are, are begging to know where we are going. When I tell them the gym they get slightly excited until my daughters stops to think for a moment. She then says, "It's cool if they have tennis and a pool, but if they have wrestling or dodge ball, I don't think I want to go." She's totally convinced somehow that we are going to her SCHOOL gym. So I attempt to explain to my 4, 6, and 8 year olds what kind of gym we are going to, failing miserably of course because when my husband gets in the car they relay the same concerns to him.

Now considering it is dinner time we decided we better stop and get something to eat....at Taco Bell. (Nothing like beginning a healthier journey with some greasy tacos and nacho cheese sauce!) We then go get our membership, get the kids some bathing suits and swimmies (In the end spending more than we did on the membership! But it was Target!) and head off for an evening of exercise and swimming.

We played tennis, I ran a mile and then we took the kids swimming. It felt GREAT!!!

And then we went to McDonald's for Happy Meals.....because we were really hungry from all the exercise of course. And what better way to end our healthy day than with eating a few greasy burgers and some hot salty fries dipped in gobs of Ketchup!!!

So can you tell me what two activities do not seem to flow with this topic? LOL

(For a new update on the progress of my book(s), check out my WEBSITE!!!)

It was kinda like playing dress up...but not!

Yesterday I had the privilege (possibly not QUITE the word I was looking for...) to play the part of "Day Care Provider" for the day. After spending 4 hours with 5 children who were not mine, I came to a couple heart felt conclusions.

1. Three children is more than enough. Five is too many. My mother must have lost her mind when she decided she would like to have six kids, that or she really wasn't paying too much attention when practicing 'The Rhythm Method'!

2. I do not feel that the career of Day Care Providing was intended for me. Some women/men are destined for the job. Me? Not so much.

Now number 2 comes with a whole set of incredibly VALID reasons!

1. Day Care Providers need patience only God himself could possibly possess, and he did not find it necessary to share that patience with me for some reason.

3. I am more anal about cleaning than I ever would have guessed. That is correct. I spent about an hour watching children pick up a toy, and after looking at it for about two seconds, decide the toy looked funny, smelled funny, or was not big enough to create the mass destruction intended, they would then throw it onto an obscure place in the middle of the floor. After that hour I about caved and decided it was the perfect moment for Clean Up Time! I just can't do the whole toys in the middle of the Living Area thing. It's too distracting for my obsessive mind to comprehend!

4. It's really hard to NOT yell at children when they are being insanely irritating, and you really aren't suppose to when these children are not your own. At home this is not an issue. I can yell and scream ALL day long. I am not going to offend anyone's parents by spouting parental threats at my kids like, "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!" or "Stay out of the middle of the road, or you'll become road kill!" (learned that one from my sister! Classic!) or "Don't make me come over there, or you'll regret it!". These threats (though never...ok...rarely... carried out) are necessary for parenting. Unfortunately you just can't use them on other people's children.

5. I don't like poop. It smells ... really bad ... and for some reason, twice as bad when it's not your own child's poop.

6. I don't like wiping noses, and again, for some reason it's just grosser than wiping your own kids snot.

7. I am incapable of spending more than 3 minutes on any of the following games: Duck Duck Goose, I Spy, Hide the Toy, etc. before inevitably trying to move on the the next game in hopes that it will be quieter/calmer. Each time I attempted this, I failed miserably!

8. Now noticing that I completely SKIPPED number two and realizing that I obviously can not count, I do not believe I am capable of educating young children. ("Ok kids, let's count to 10. 1,3,4,5....") And correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that suppose to be part of the job?

9. Did you know that when you are paying attention to a room full of kids, there is no time for the internet? What crap is that!!!

10. It was only by luck, large amounts of luck, that none of the children ended up looking like this by the end of the afternoon!!


So, Day Care Providing career...down the drain! I'm thinking about attempting to be trapeze artist next ...

Here's to you day care providers ... *Raises up very LARGE glass of wine*
You guys are miracle workers!!!

By the way? Did you see the cool contest I award I won on the side there? Thanks Baby Makin(g) Machine and Thank You Roger the Ant!!!

(Stop by my Website to read about Editing Road Blocks)