We interupt this blog break fo an important question!

Ahh summer... Heatstroke, lemonade, sprinklers, bathing suits, beaches, bikes...

Bikes...sigh...the downfall of my existence right now.

Since we moved, the little ones now have a place to play and sidewalks to explore. Thus, this summer, they have learned to ride their bikes without the training wheels (sans five-yr-old). And so what do they want to do ALL day and ALL night?

You guessed it, ride their bikes.


Now I'm all for them getting the exercise and such. But riding their bikes means being out front. And paranoid mom in me says they shouldn't be out front unless I'm out there to watch them. Sure I can see them and hear them from the window, BUT not all the time. I mean they aren't going to just ride two feet and turn around.


So alas, what's a paranoid mommy to do????


At what age did you finally let go and let your little ones outside without your 100% supervision? Mine are 5, 7, and 9 and I just can't do it. I just can't stand the thought of them being out there alone.


Am I in need of a good slapping? Or are there others who share my pain?

When Tuesday acts like a Monday

My Facebook Status:

Marybeth Poppins Dear Tuesday, I know we fought today (a lot) and I want to apologize. I'm sorry you are such an @$$. Maybe next week you can be a little nicer. Just a thought....

Yesterday was one of those days. One of those days where the kids don their selective hearing skills, 7yr olds decide to bounce off the walls because apparently driving mom up those very same walls is entertaining, new computers get shipped without an operating system, and daughters beads get watered then spread across her bedroom floor. (And when I say across bedroom floor I

mean from wall to wall)

I may or may not have had a glass (or three) of wine last night for the first time in over four weeks. Then I sent the kids to bed and fired up ye old Xbox360 for a little Lego Harry Potter. I'm not really sure any of that happened in that particular order....

So today is Wednesday and already I'm feeling like I may just be able to be friends with this particular day. So far it's provided me with a working new computer, children with only semi-selective hearing, a wee little bit of extra sleep, and a smores pop-tart.

In honor of my Wednesday offering up a pop-tart, I have updated my facebook status:

Marybeth Poppins Good morning Wednesday. You seem to better than my than my Tuesday which was really disguised as a Monday. So um, if you behave it's possible I'll give you a cookie. (and if you don't behave it's also possible that I'll kick you in the face....but that's not a threat. I promise!) (or maybe it is...) PS...thanks for the pop-tart!

Let's see if Wednesday is motivated by cookies shall we?

What my kids and The Hunger Games have in common...and a super cool announcement!

Do you have kids? Have you ever been around kids? (More than one...one doesn't have the same effect.) Well if you have, you KNOW how loud they can be. And when you are trying to finish up your super awesome Epic Edit, loud = BAD!

Yesterday was made of lot's of loud. So in attempt to get a break from all this loud I decided to send the monsters outside.

FAIL!

We have a wonderful new fenced in backyard that I entirely adore with every little speck of my "Oh my god I'm a mother in need of silence, let's lock the kids outdoors" being. (Not that I actually lock them out, but I may or may not have considered it at one time or another.)

So I'm all, "Hey kids, you should go play outside!"

Kids, "YAY!! Mom is great! She is the most fabulous mom made of spectacularsauce EVER." (I may or may not have added some (or at least 13) of those words myself.)

They go outside and I crack open my window so I can hear them and keep an eye on them. And I kid you not, it was like I'd been placed in front of my TV in District Nine and I was watching The Hunger Games Yo!

My deck was the Cornucopia and my kids were all fighting over which weapons (and when I say weapons I mean walking sticks, pop can cases, and dodge balls) they were going to get and beating each other off to get what they wanted first. I could almost picture my little Bean (my daughter) as Katniss diving for her bow and arrows. (AKA Nerf Darts)

So I yell out the window to them. "Put that stick away." and "Stop hitting your brother with that box!"

But the games continue. They race around the yard like 3 little starving tributes fighting over who will be the first to leave the island. (Oh wait...that's Survivor isn't it...well, same difference) I just shake my head in defeat. There is no getting rid of loud for me.

"Mom, I'm hungry," my youngest calls out.

I consider tossing a few packs of fruit snacks out there. Kinda like my 'peace offering', but then I picture all The Hunger Games tributes killing each other over a loaf of bread and decide maybe that's not a good idea.

So I yell out to him, "I think there are some wild mushrooms in the yard. Maybe you can shoot that squirrel over there? But you're totally on your own kid!"

Some or all of this story may or may not be made of complete facts. But that does not disparage the fact that it FELT like it happened like this...

In other news. If you are a KidLit writer (a writer of a book with an MC 18 or younger) you MUST check out this Epic News!!!!

AWESOME ONLINE CONFERENCE MADE OF COMPLETE WIN!

These girls have just announced a FREE online conference they have put together. Check out the website and all their blogs. They are giving away TONS of prizes. I like prizes.

Elana's Blog

Jamie's Blog

Shannon's Blog

Lisa & Laura's Blog

Casey's Blog

What if He was a She? or She was a He?

While lying in bed last night ... (ok I totally just wrote 'I was lying in bed last night' and then deleted it because it was too passive....am I a writer or what!!) ... so while lying in bed last night I was thinking about all my writer friends (it's not what you think, I promise!) and all the blogs I read and thought it was funny how there are two Natalie's.

Then I proceeded to think about how I love the name Natalie, so much in fact that if my son would have been a she instead of a he I would have named him Natalie.

Then I thought about my other two kids and remembered what their names would have been had they been born the opposite sex.

So here is a run down of my kids names had they been born ... well not as the ultrasounds had promised!

Logan would have been Natalie

Preston would have been Annabelle

Mikayla would have been Ethan

Sometime I get sad that I didn't get to use the other names, but at the same time I don't feel like I could have used them on any other children. Am I a strange carrot or what!?!!?

So you tell me, did your children have alternative names? Did YOU have an alternative name?

Oh and Happy Birthday to my little Preston (almost Annabelle) who turns 7 today!!!!

What two items do NOT fit in this picture?

Ooh ooh...I love these games!!! Ok well I don't have an actual VISUAL picture, but I'm going to paint one with my words. (Doesn't it sound so creative of me?)

I received a call from my husband yesterday suggesting it was time we join a gym. (I then choked on whatever I was eating, drinking, or possibly my own spit at that moment from the shock.) I'm not sure where the urge came from, but he was super excited and had the gym picked out and everything. Sweet!!! So I went online and looked at the website then called the facility for more information. I set up an appointment for right after my husband got out of work because I was also excited.

I then called my husband back and let him know the finer details and he requested I come get him from work early so we could get the membership and exercise going! Wow...he was quite excited for someone who prefers to play video games than play catch. Who was this and where had they hidden my husband? (And could they possibly keep him locked up there because I kinda like this new guy!) So I gather up all our work out clothes, our bathing suits (Um problem.....kids don't have bathing suits that fit! CRAP!!!) and stick the kids in some sporty outfits so they fit the profile of children who like to work out. (Not sure why....I just felt it was appropriate. Probably cuz they looked so cute!) I throw everything together into a two different bags, (one for the boys and one for the girls of course) grab the tennis rackets and head out the door.

Of course my kids, being the curious little devils that they are, are begging to know where we are going. When I tell them the gym they get slightly excited until my daughters stops to think for a moment. She then says, "It's cool if they have tennis and a pool, but if they have wrestling or dodge ball, I don't think I want to go." She's totally convinced somehow that we are going to her SCHOOL gym. So I attempt to explain to my 4, 6, and 8 year olds what kind of gym we are going to, failing miserably of course because when my husband gets in the car they relay the same concerns to him.

Now considering it is dinner time we decided we better stop and get something to eat....at Taco Bell. (Nothing like beginning a healthier journey with some greasy tacos and nacho cheese sauce!) We then go get our membership, get the kids some bathing suits and swimmies (In the end spending more than we did on the membership! But it was Target!) and head off for an evening of exercise and swimming.

We played tennis, I ran a mile and then we took the kids swimming. It felt GREAT!!!

And then we went to McDonald's for Happy Meals.....because we were really hungry from all the exercise of course. And what better way to end our healthy day than with eating a few greasy burgers and some hot salty fries dipped in gobs of Ketchup!!!

So can you tell me what two activities do not seem to flow with this topic? LOL

(For a new update on the progress of my book(s), check out my WEBSITE!!!)

It was kinda like playing dress up...but not!

Yesterday I had the privilege (possibly not QUITE the word I was looking for...) to play the part of "Day Care Provider" for the day. After spending 4 hours with 5 children who were not mine, I came to a couple heart felt conclusions.

1. Three children is more than enough. Five is too many. My mother must have lost her mind when she decided she would like to have six kids, that or she really wasn't paying too much attention when practicing 'The Rhythm Method'!

2. I do not feel that the career of Day Care Providing was intended for me. Some women/men are destined for the job. Me? Not so much.

Now number 2 comes with a whole set of incredibly VALID reasons!

1. Day Care Providers need patience only God himself could possibly possess, and he did not find it necessary to share that patience with me for some reason.

3. I am more anal about cleaning than I ever would have guessed. That is correct. I spent about an hour watching children pick up a toy, and after looking at it for about two seconds, decide the toy looked funny, smelled funny, or was not big enough to create the mass destruction intended, they would then throw it onto an obscure place in the middle of the floor. After that hour I about caved and decided it was the perfect moment for Clean Up Time! I just can't do the whole toys in the middle of the Living Area thing. It's too distracting for my obsessive mind to comprehend!

4. It's really hard to NOT yell at children when they are being insanely irritating, and you really aren't suppose to when these children are not your own. At home this is not an issue. I can yell and scream ALL day long. I am not going to offend anyone's parents by spouting parental threats at my kids like, "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!" or "Stay out of the middle of the road, or you'll become road kill!" (learned that one from my sister! Classic!) or "Don't make me come over there, or you'll regret it!". These threats (though never...ok...rarely... carried out) are necessary for parenting. Unfortunately you just can't use them on other people's children.

5. I don't like poop. It smells ... really bad ... and for some reason, twice as bad when it's not your own child's poop.

6. I don't like wiping noses, and again, for some reason it's just grosser than wiping your own kids snot.

7. I am incapable of spending more than 3 minutes on any of the following games: Duck Duck Goose, I Spy, Hide the Toy, etc. before inevitably trying to move on the the next game in hopes that it will be quieter/calmer. Each time I attempted this, I failed miserably!

8. Now noticing that I completely SKIPPED number two and realizing that I obviously can not count, I do not believe I am capable of educating young children. ("Ok kids, let's count to 10. 1,3,4,5....") And correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that suppose to be part of the job?

9. Did you know that when you are paying attention to a room full of kids, there is no time for the internet? What crap is that!!!

10. It was only by luck, large amounts of luck, that none of the children ended up looking like this by the end of the afternoon!!


So, Day Care Providing career...down the drain! I'm thinking about attempting to be trapeze artist next ...

Here's to you day care providers ... *Raises up very LARGE glass of wine*
You guys are miracle workers!!!

By the way? Did you see the cool contest I award I won on the side there? Thanks Baby Makin(g) Machine and Thank You Roger the Ant!!!

(Stop by my Website to read about Editing Road Blocks)