Dear Job Hunting ...

Dear Job Hunting,

I'm writing to inform you of my eagerness to disarm you. It appears you have mistaken me for a weak-minded individual who cannot stand the test of holding strong amongst a tedious and mostly disappointing process. In fact, I will conquer you, and it shall be brilliant.

It also appears you have brought the thunder in regards to building the best resume the earth has ever seen or thus perish amongst the remaining resumes who lie in a pile of shame. It is my intent to see your thunder and bring a bit of lightning to the party, for I know there is a company out there that will see my resume and find it to be the most spectacular document they've ever read.

Oh Job Hunting, I know you want to bring me merely shame and disappointment, but unfortunately for you I have only great anticipation with a side of gleaming hope, for Martin Luther King Jr. said,

"We must accept finite disappointment, but never lose infinite hope."

You may try to defeat this hope I have, but trust me, I will triumph.

Plainly stated, Job Hunting, stop trying to bring me down. I have what it takes to win this war and I won't be brought down by all the negativity oozing from each email stating "We have found another candidate." I will know that wasn't the job I was meant to have, and I will move on! And I know you're all like ...

But I got this. I've been practicing these job qualifications for years. And there IS an employer out there who will see that and be impressed and want to hire me without even an interview (dream world). Needless to say, I'm not afraid of you, so you might as well give on trying to intimidate me.

Why?

Because I got this!

Bring it!

You will not win!

I've got all the time in the world.

Sincerely,

Job Seeker

They Turned Teen ... I Wasn't Trained for Teen!

My week started out something like this ...

Husband confiscates daughter's phone and, as we do from time to time, skims through her texts. We don't do it often, but we like to make sure she's not dealing drugs or selling scandalous videos and/or photos of herself online or what have you. Yes ... we're those parents. Sorry, not sorry.

Sooooo ...

Instead he finds a conversation between her and her boyfriend that goes something (and I mean I'm totally exaggerating for dramatic flare here) like this.

Now I actually chose not to read the real text messages after my husband gave me the gist of it, but from what I was told, this is how I interpreted it.

I'm lame. I'm lazy.

This following a very large disagreement with my son a week earlier where, without saying it, he made it clear I'm not worth respecting.

Who are these kids?

I swear they're not mine. My kids don't act like this!

But they do.

And you want to know why?

Because they're teenagers!!!!!!

Teenagers declaring their individuality and their independence.

Who allowed this to happen? 

And just when you think it can't get any more frustrating, they do this ...

They just keep turning more teenagerish!!! 

And then ...

They get their permit!!!

And then ...

They get a checking account and use their debit card for the first time!

And then and then and then ...

They get classy shoes for big events.

They learn how to tie a tie for the first time.

They get new friends.

They get significant others!

They go to homecoming!

They get handsome!

They get pretty ... and pretty goofy.

No seriously, they get pretty!

They pick out their own Christmas trees, Charlie Brown style.

They take care of robot babies for the weekend.

They fail to act classy on a regular basis.

They shoot rockets for sport.

They photobomb what could be good selfies.

They make taking selfies with them impossible

They make lifelong friends despite long distances.

They can be insanely impossible yet amazing all at the same time. I love watching these milestones, but what about in between?

What about those days where they think I'm a monster covered in Jell-o? Which are a plenty during these wonderful teen years!

I KNOW my kids don't hate me ALL the time. Apologies WERE made and the world was set right again. But still, I know they'll dislike me again soon enough. I'm the mom. And for some reason or another, dads are inherently cool and loved and can do no wrong when it comes to teenagers, while moms on the other hand are evil and heartless and can never be as cool as dad. It's a thing. My own mother confirmed it. 

Well there is truly only one thing I can do when I'm thought of as the evil stepmom from Cinderella. I have to remind myself ...

They're never too old to play with balloons.

And ...

You're never too old to hold Dad's hand while iceskating

Playing board games is still cool.

Tiny video game systems are fun to play with mom!

Semi Matching Hoodies are still ok.

Movies with mom is a thing. A fun thing.

You're never too old to fall asleep watching movies in moms bed.

Sometimes selfies with mom are ok.

Planes are still really cool.

And ...

It's still okay to cuddle in the car (as long as you're sleeping and unaware)

Sometimes raising teenagers is a huge chore. Sometimes they hate me. Sometimes they love me. Sometimes I want to pull my hair out. Sometimes I just can't seem to spend enough time with them.

Always raising teens is hard.

I come to this challenge with little to no preparation, and most days I have no clue what I'm doing. I wish my daughter didn't feel like she needed to send texts about me not wanting to drive her places, but let's be honest, I can't be a chauffeur ALL the time! And yeah, if we're being honest, sometimes I just don't want to! And that doesn't make me a bad mom, it just makes me human.

I am a human mom. I hate making dinner. I enforce chores and homework with authority. I despise driving all over the place. I'm typically the one that chooses and doles out the punishments. I like to watch netflix in my room after dinner until bedtime. I have an illness that sometimes leaves me unable to perform every day duties. And I constantly pester my children to see if they want to hang out.

I give my kids plenty of reasons to find me annoying or to dislike me.

But that's ok.

I don't deny it.

I own it.

Why?

Because I love those infuriating children with abundance. And chances are, if they don't like me one day or another, it's probably because I'm doing something right.

So bring it on my little teens. Cuz this mama is going to keep on doing her best and trying her hardest despite no handbook, and she's going to keep on loving you far past the days where we have all left this earth! 

And that my friends, is how you raise a teenager. (I hope)

What's Next? The Search for Something to Do

My workouts each day end with me promptly heading downstairs and plopping on the stool in my husband's home office to oh so considerately interrupt his work day with my sweaty, smelly presence. I have too cool down, might as well do it with company. For some reason this bothers him none, which both entertains me and pleases me.

However, there inevitably comes a point where he does need to actually do work. So far this week this has been no big deal as it's been late in the day and the kids are home to bother, but today annoying my teenagers is not an option because they are still in school. Today is the day I've been dreading. Today I have to entertain myself for the first time since my unemployed days began.

Unemployment was my own choice. I had a job, the job was sooooooo not right for me for many, many reason, and since it was fiscally not an issue to take some time off to look for the right job, I quit. So I know I shouldn't complain. Sure I just got my bachelor's degree, and I was sorta hoping to have a really nice cush, well paying job by now ... but according to the jobs unavailable, and the fact that apparently just having a bachelor's degree doesn't magically get you a job, that's not happening anytime real soon.

Unfortunately, I don't know what happens next. I can't spend my day cleaning because my children basically have that covered in their chores lists. (Yes, we are THOSE parents. The ones who make our kids work to prepare them for life. Whether they do it well or do it when they are supposed to is a whole other story.) So if I don't have a house to clean, and my meals are already planned, and I save my Netflix binging for the evenings, what's an unemployed gal (who is currently taking a break from job hunting to keep from going insane) to do all day while her kids are at school?

So far I've been told to:

• Take up a new hobby
• Take up an old hobby
• Find something new I like to do
• Join a club
• Start a club
• WRITE (technically and old hobby)

So here I am writing ... trying to fill my time. Trying to figure out what's next for me.

What do I do with my days?

What do I do in the afternoons when my children are actually doing their homework (hahahahahaha ... if only miracles did happen) and their chores and then entertaining themselves and don't need me?

I'm not really a hobby kind of gal. I'm so uncoordinated that if I tried to knit it would look like this ...

I have joined some clubs, but they only meet like once a month, and of course in the evening or on a Saturday. So that's a bust.

I'm not really sure what kind of club I would start ... "Bored People Being Bored Together." It'll be a hit! I just know it!

And as I'm not really sure what kind of something new to do is supposed to look like, that only leaves one thing ... Writing.

I've been told to write by every person I talk to about this conundrum. So I guess I could give it a try, but ...

What do I write about?

Do I write a blog? a book? a journal?

Will anyone read it?

Do I want anyone to read it?

These are all questions I don't seem to know how to answer.

So that leaves the big ol' question, what's next?

Why can't my kids just be little again and still need all my attention. It was so much easier in those days. Now I'm lucky to get 30 minutes of them telling me how their day was and reminding them they'll work at McDonald's if they don't do their homework (which I hear can be quite a decent job these days so at least there's that) and that they need to do the dishes/laundry/etc. before they scatter away to do their own teenage things.

Turns out I quit to stay at home and raise some teenagers who I find I need more than they need me.

Turns out ... I'm a bit lost.

Does anyone have a map to help me find myself? GPS?