Aug 26, 2012

New Obsession ... Photography!

I started a new blog ... What? Like that's REALLY surprising?

Well I've recently become addicted to photography and decided to share that addiction with the world. Why? No clue.

 But here's the site ...

Go over and LIKE it :) It will make me all sorts of smiley!

Aug 9, 2012

Generating Novel Ideas

I have exactly 2 weeks to come up with a new idea for a book. I know I know ... I totally JUST finished the first draft of Stumble and Fall, but I joined a writers group and this is my first assignment.

In the past year or so I've had some great ideas while sleeping that I wrote done and then reread only to fine ... yeah, not so great.

The two I recall the best are about fire and water. One where the world has been flooded and life after the flood. The other where the sun is burning the world and life trying to survive and keep what they've rebuilt from burning again.

Super cool dreams.

Pretty lame when it comes to book plots.

So I'm trying not to rely on my dreams since I'm obviously NOT Stephani  Meyer and I don't have visions of Sparkly vampires while I slumber. (Which in all reality, this does not bother me a bit!)

But where do I procure these ideas from? Seems like right now I'm going to have to just pull them out of my arse at the last minute. But what fun would that be!

Where do YOU procure your novel plot ideas? Please share your secrets!!!


Aug 7, 2012

Feeling Crafty with Nothing to Craft! Bollocks!

My sisters are all sorts of craftiness! Like ALL SORTS!

My oldest sister, AKA Miss Charlotte (found at does the domestic gig. She can make dinner out of an onion and a block of cheese and somehow make it taste like spaghetti! She sews like it's her job ... wait ... Well anyway, she sews like a goddess and makes the most fantastical things EVER ...

See this dress?!?!!

It's my daughters first communion dress and it's absolutely GORGEOUS!

Then my other sister, Becky ... Rebecca ... Beckster ... what have you ... (found here all sorts of awesome!


Are they freaking talented or what?!?!

And me ... sigh ... well I just write and create websites. Kinda boring if you ask me. There's nothing visually stimulating about a book! LOL

And websites, meh ... they're okay (I did do the one! but um it's totally all my sister's art, so I can't really take the credit for it's awesomeness.)

SO .... I find myself wanting to create something with my hands. Something fun and pretty. Something fantastical.

However ... I can NOT sew. My stitches tend to look something like this ...

 The extent to which I can paint ... Well ....

Yeah um ... Thank goodness my daughter isn't an art critic!

And although I CAN cook ... sometimes ... I'm not particularly fond of it. So what does that leave me with?

Well today I shall find out! Tell me kids ... what SHALL I create? Hmmmm???


Aug 3, 2012

What? You're Depressed for no Reason? Rubbish!!!

I think that there is a common misconception that one must be going through tough times to be depressed, and/or at the very least have something to be sad about. Sure, this is true to a certain extent, but it's not the whole truth.

It's no secret that I have bipolar disorder, and I'm not (usually) ashamed to admit it. However, I think there are many people out there that don't really understand what it means. In particular, what it means for me to be depressed.

The difference between my depression and situational depression is that I don't usually have a reason to be sad. My life can be wonderful ... and actually it rather is ... yet I can still be found in a pool of tears and not even know where they are coming from. (Okay well they are OBVIOUSLY coming from my eyes ... but I meant the cause is usually unknown)

The other thing that is quite different from the usual depression is that it makes me angry and cranky all while at the very same time making me hopeless and full of despair. There is no rhyme or reason to how it comes out, it just is.

During a specific episode today, I posted on facebook ...

"I'm about ready to pay someone $50 to cheer me up. Ready . Set . Go! (hahahaha ... see that was funny cuz it's impossible!!! lol)"
What I got from this statement was a plethora of people trying to propose ways in which to cheer me up while also refusing my offer of money. What the didn't seem to understand that it was truly the statement in the parenthesis that really rang true for me.

During a depressive episode there is almost NOTHING anyone can do to cheer me up. I don't want to get on the phone and talk about it because that will just make me cry and crying will only make me feel worse. I don't want company because I know I won't be good company and that will just make me feel bad. I don't want gifts because I don't feel like I deserve them. And I don't want showers of compliments because no matter how nice they are, I don't believe them. What's worse is, if I do believe them ... I don't care. They don't make me feel better anyways.

Now do not misunderstand this as Poppins looking for sympathy ... cuz that's totally NOT what this post is about. I'm just trying to help others understand why I am the way I am. Why I do and say the things I do. And what it is I truly feel.

In all honesty, I don't want anyone feeling bad for me. I have a neurological chemical imbalance ... it is what it is. It's frustrating, yes ... but it makes me who I am. Because of this illness I am intelligent, creative, sarcastic, funny and sometimes even talented. I wouldn't give those things up for a normal brain any day!

My main point is ... you don't always have to be sad or have a reason to be depressed. Sometimes you just feel like the world is crumbling in on you even though you might be the luckiest person in the world. So if a person ever tells you that there's nothing you can do to help them feel better, just let them know that you are there if ever they change their mind.

ALSO ... don't hesitate to check in on them as often as you feel necessary. HOWEVER, depressed and suicidal are two different things. NEVER leave a suicidal person alone ... EVER!

If you are thinking about harming yourself, or know someone who is, PLEASE get help immediately.

You can get help by doing one of the following:
  • Call your doctor.
  • Call 911 or go to a hospital emergency room to get immediate help or ask a friend or family member to help you do these things.
  • Call the toll-free, 24-hour hotline of the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255); TTY: 1-800-799-4TTY (4889) to talk to a trained counselor.

$h!t I did it backwards!!!