Aug 31, 2016

Is Coffee the Key to Success? (The 2nd Reprise about what happens when you go back to work!)

So, back in April of 2009, I originally wrote the post entitled "Is Coffee the Key to Success?" At the time I was young and naive. I didn't understand the beautiful creation that is Caffeine.

I didn't understand how glorious a hot cup of coffee is on a cold winter day on your walk into work.

I didn't understand the joy of taking a break because you NEED an iced latte ... and/or 15 minutes of not staring at your damn computer screen and wondering how you're going to get two US senators into the same room on the same day and/or how the hell you are going to switch around 3 appointments for your boss because something more important came up that was surely NOT a golf outing.

I just didn't get it. I didn't understand why so many others felt the need to partake in a cup of java EVERY single day.

Even though it's true, I'm not going to say I was stupid. That would be cruel. But try as I may have, I just couldn't escape the gentle unrelenting grasp of a super grande with three shots of espresso tiny cup of joe.

I'm not exactly sure what happened in February 2010 that placed me into the reconsidering stages of my decision to, "Just Say No," but despite the lovely and almost totally convincing comments, I still remained a hater.

Nope, I wasn't gonna do it. The smell didn't match the flavor. It was too hot. It was too cold. It made your teeth more yellow than Goldilox's hair. (See how I did that?)

It wasn't freaking happening. Damn any success that could be had! I would forever remain coffeecelabate. (It's a word ... as of today.)

So what the frick happened?

Right now you're saying, "Oh, well you said it up above! You went back to work! Duh"

Oh no my friends.

I didn't just go back to work!

I went back to work where my office was right NEXT DOOR to a freaking Biggby!!! (Click the link if you haven't heard of them ... they are my favorite ... no haters allowed!)

Yeah ... that cold winter walk to work ... about 10 ft.

I know it shouldn't have mattered. I mean, I hated the taste right? It was awful.

Or was it just awful without anything in it?

I started small. Teddy Bear Latte. All that extra flavor, who can taste the coffee? Plus, it was practically just a cup of milk with a wee bit of espresso added. No Big Deal. It didn't mean anything. I was still a skeptic ... ish. I mean it was really warm and creamy and got me going when I was really tired first thing in the morning. I just needed a little bit of help! Okay!?!?!

And so yeah, maybe I would brag about it on instagram a time or two, but I still had control over the situation,

Then things got a little more serious. After a month or two of creamy, sugary lattes I started to notice my pants fitting a little differently. Something had to change.

"Can I get a Non Fat Butter Bear Latte with Light Flavor and no Whip, Please? Oh, and add and extra shot of espresso."

I was slipping fast. I could actually TASTE the espresso ... and I kinda liked it.

Before long they knew my order by heart.

And from there I was sucked in.

And let's not lie, for as much love as I have for the Big B, lattes are expensive yo! But coffee with a wee bit o' sugar ... that shit's cheap AF!

That's when I knew there was no going back.

Here I am now, having resigned from my job to once again go back to school, and I'm still drinking the damn sludge I'd told myself I'd never need.

It's all over.


I need it HARD!

So past Poppins, let me answer our own little question.

"Is Coffee the Key to Success?"

Who gives a shit! That stuff is gold and I'm going to drink it anyways. I'm only sorry I didn't start sooner. (Though my pearly white's thank me for taking my time to cross over to the dark side. You're welcome teeth!)

Aug 22, 2016

When Your Midlife Crisis Hits and It's All ... I Got This! (As you're dying your hair blue)

Recently, okay maybe like in the last three to five years, my kids grew up and became preteen and teens. When I began this blog, my youngest was 4, my middle child was 6 and my oldest was 8 and they were all #cuteAF!

Now, I don't even have a photo of all three of them together because, um ... that's not cool! Duh!!! (Let's be honest, I totally just scoured through FB, Instagram and my phone to find one but um yeah ... all I got were these ...

And then the audacity of my now 15 year old daughter to freaking start looking like THIS!!!

Okay so that was a planned photo shoot and she actually usually looks like this (after her new hair cut...)

Still #cuteAF though, though all so much more grown up!!!

And although I adore them at these preteen and teen ages, something HUGE has changed.

They don't need me anymore ... well at least not as much.

What is a mom who is DESPERATELY Searching for her Inner Mary Poppins to do when she is barely needed past the task of making dinner??? (And if we are STILL being honest, "Make Your Own Dinner Night" happens a wee bit more than I'd like to admit so I'm really not NEEDed for that either.)

Enter Midlife Crisis!

But it's all good yo! I got this!

Recently ... 
  • I enrolled in college to complete my bachelor's degree! #completelynormal
  • I met a group of ladies in my new suburbian neighborhood who have similar interests as me Again ... #completelynormal
  • I began a workout plan ... Totally #completelynormal
See, I'm rocking this crisis like it's barely a crisis at all.

Shit ... I forgot we were being honest ...

So there may be a FEW things I left out.

I may have omitted a detail or more about some other things I've recently done since said crisis arrived.

Such as ...
  • In enrolling in college, I MAY or may not have also signed up for 5 classes in one semester #borderlinecrazysauce 
  • In meeting my new friends, some of our interests MAY or may not include watching trash TV and making fun of it, drinking wine, having girls night out and playing inappropriate card games. #TOTALLYnormalAF
  • I MAY or may not be having some issues with above mentioned workout plan and perhaps it isn't working out for me quite yet ... maybe it's the wine, or the diet that's not quite existent ... but I'm getting back in shape! I swear! #AisforEffortBitches
  • In realizing that my teen daughter seems to be a little less "typical" teenager than me ... I mean than I WAS at her age, we decided to start a youtube channel/FB Page making videos about who can teenage it better. #What? I MAY or may not usually win. #NormalAF
  • As I'm no longer working full time due to being in school, and it doesn't matter what the hell I look like anymore ... and as my daughter is refusing to take advantage of the joys of being a teenager, I MAY or may not have had a moment of weakness and did this ...

This I like to refer to as #MidLifeCrisisAF

But I've got this y'all. Totes.

I can handle it.

It's not like the first half of my book Fall Girl hasn't turned out to be about at LEAST 75% accurate or anything.

It's not like I'm flipping out like 90% of the time thinking about the next 8 years of my life after which I'll be back to working full time IF I can make it through my bachelor's program and then at LEAST 66% of my children will be off living on their own and I'm going to be all alone, being forced given the wonderful opportunity to get to know who I REALLY am and who my husband and I REALLY are as a couple or anything.

It's not like I feel lost and/or confused as well as lonely all the time because I don't even know what to do with all the extra time I'm being given as I no longer have to care for my children 24/7 as they are WAY too busy and cool for me now.

I'm totally cool with this Midlife Shit! 

It's the best. 

I'm working in #BeastMode now and killing it!

As such, I've decided to give this whole blogging thing a try again. Go back to my old "Poppins" identity. Search for that perfect imperfection once more ... just from a tiny bit NEW perspective.

As a mother of preteen/teens. 

Where ...  
  • Try as you might to keep it classy, language no longer matters ... the kids at school curse more than you do. Which is ridiculous because you use Fuck like a verb, noun, adjective, etc. and you can't keep up with the amount of vinegar needed to keep these kids' mouths clean. (Of COURSE I'm talking about the kids at school, not my children. They remain #classyAF)
  • All the household chores are now done by your minions without the fear of child labor laws because, DUH, you own them love them and gave birth to them and they owe you this labor!!! want to prepare them for the world ahead by teaching them what it's like to do a little work from time to time.
  • You are no longer the person they run to when they get hurt, when they want someone to play with, when they need help with homework, when they get scared, when they have questions about how the world works, when they can't figure shit out, etc because you are no longer #CoolMom ... you are now #EweMom and that's why they have friends who know EVERYTHING since you no longer know NOTHING. AKA: You are now #JohnSnow.
  • You have so much damn time on your hands that at LEAST 80% of the time all you have left to do is focus on YOU! #scaryAF
It's probably not that bad really. I know my kids love me. But this new life IS rather scary and I'm thinking I may need some help maneuvering through it. I should probably not ask them how to do it since they've got nothing everything figured out already! But I don't want to cut into their YouTube Watching/Video Game Playing Book Reading/Studying time.

So here I stand kids ... back in the blogging game ... just looking for a LOT little bit of guidance.

Mid Life Crisis! FUCK YEAH!