Dear Grand Rapids,
I wanted to tell you how much I miss you! With your familiar streets and wonderful Michigan Turn Arounds. Did I tell you I hated your pot holes? I want to apologize for that. My new enemy, Lansing, has far more pot holes than you've ever had, even on your worst day.
Oh Grand Rapids, how I miss afternoon lunches at Olive Garden! Your soup, salad and breadsticks were the perfect antidote to a long day/week/month/year! And all the familiar friends you brought to share the warm goodness that coated my longing stomach.
Never again will I curse you Grand Rapids, even with your poor economy and horrible employment rate. For you hold all that is important to me. The friends and family that I hold so dear. The familiar street signs and the lack of irritating one way streets. You Grand Rapids, know that one way streets were meant for down town areas only, NOT the busiest roads in the city.
And how I long for your near by Targets. I now have to travel half way across town to visit my local heaven once a week. Where it saves me money in the long run, not having my favorite story less than a mile away, I find it very inconvenient and depressing having to drive so far to find my happiness!
Grand Rapids, you were a good friend to me. Please talk to your close relative Lansing. Tell her that she needs to have more consideration for her new occupants. And if you could have Comstock Park and Sparta give her a talk about her school system, that would be wonderful as well. (No offense GR, but your schools weren't much better)
In closing Grand Rapids, please find your way back to me....or at least bring your familiarity out to me!!! I so long for it right now. I'd also appreciate it if you could send a friend or two out this way as well...I mean you don't have a whole lot of jobs there anyhow... and well...Lansing does, thus why we moved here....so MAYBE you could spare a few citizens as a parting gift :)
A Big Fan and often Unappreciative Friend,