Sep 18, 2011

Practically Imperfect in Every Way

When I started this blog ... WAY back in the day ... when I didn't even have to lie about being 29 ... I wanted to make sure the name of the blog fit who I am.

The name of this blog is the epitome of who I am! "Desperately SEARCHING for my Inner Mary Poppins"

I'm always struggling to be the perfect everything. Perfect Mom. Perfect Wife. Perfect Friend. Perfect Student. Perfect Anything Else that I Can Be ... And that's a pretty big friggen struggle!

I thing searching for that perfection has set me up for some grave expectations that I am not able to live up to. Sometimes I feel like I'm expected to be happy and positive. I'm expected to have my shit together. I'm expected to be ambitious. I'm expected to hold people up when they are falling. I'm expected to be a great leader.

And maybe I'm not ... but it sure feels like it sometimes.

That fact of the matter is, though I am those things some of the time, other times I am not. And in the past two years of trying so desperately hard to live up to those expectations, I've found myself quite burnt out.

So here's the deal world, I'm not friggen perfect! Sure I do have issues with trying to be ... but isn't perfect really an unattainable state anyhow?

I write books and publish them on a whim and end up super embarrassed and humiliated because of the editing errors.

I start websites that sometimes leave me feeling overwhelming and lost.

I got a 70% on my history quiz.

I gained 15 lbs this year.

I start things and sometimes it takes me forever to finish them ... sometimes I don't finish them (embarrassing confession there)

I drop off the face of the earth for weeks to months at a time,  and sometimes there's not even a reason for doing it.

And those are only a few things.

I've decided to change the tagline to this website due to this lack of perfection ...

Desperately Searching for My Inner Mary Poppins  by Marybeth Poppins, Practically Imperfect in Every Way!

Does it ever feel like you are fighting to live up to the pressures of perfection and fighting to meet everyone else's expectations? Or am I the only idiot who for some ridiculous reason believe that someday she will save the world?

2 comments:

Elizabeth Spann Craig/Riley Adams said...

I feel like I've missed the mark so *many* times (because I have!) We all have. It makes me feel better to know I'm not the only one!

Marybeth Poppins said...

Right back at you...missing the mark is a specialty of mine!