Phantastic Phriday - Shampoo or Mountain Dew?

***In honor of it being Phriday, and in rephusal to submit to boredom, I have decided that the Letter F shall phrom here on out be replaced with a PH (except phor in pictures which I have no control over)***

Sitting in my shower the other day (Yes the cat is out oph the bag, I sit in my shower! I'm lazy, why stand when you can sit? Sitting is MUCH more relaxing!)

As I was saying...Sitting in my shower the other day (PHOCUS people! Sitting is perphectly normal!....I think...)

One more time...Sitting in my shower the other day, I looked at my Shampoo bottle and read "Now with Phructose and Glucose!" I paused a moment.....Phructose and Glucose eh?...in Shampoo....Am I the only one who phinds this to be awkward and slightly problematic?

Interpretation - By adding Corn Syrup and Yellow Number 5 to my Shampoo, I would have a excellent bottle oph Mountain Dew. No?