My Patronus is a Unicorn

I know, I know. Harry Potter is all over and done with and all that fun stuff. But I'm not gonna lie ... I'LL NEVER STOP LOVING THAT SERIES ...

NEVER!!!

*sniff sniff*

I mean I was actually super sad the night I went to see the last movie. I was like, "What the heck ... now what midnight movies am I going to go to?"

Well, so far that question hasn't been answered. So in the meantime I like to pretend that one day Harry Potter will come back because Malfoy was bitten by the Dark Lord before Harry killed him and is full of all sorts of Dark Magic. Then Harry and Ginny will have to train Albus Severus and the other two kids with better names so that they can become the new order of the phoenix. BUT since Dumbledore is dead and the phoenix flew away ...

It will now be called "The Order of the Not So Evil Unicorn!"

And then I know I'll fit in because I totally love unicorns! I mean if I were to have a patronus ... um UNICORN! It would be just like Harry's stag except without the antlers and just one horn ... plus it would look more like a horse.

Kinda like this ...

Except there's be more wisps flying out it's arse cuz that's where all the light would shine from. (Duh!) It would kinda be like the patronus that runs backwards. And the dementors wouldn't know whether to run away because of all the bright shiny light or due to the fact that the bright shiny light would be coming out of the arse of a unicorn.

What really remains to be seen is whether or not that bright shiny light comes in a rainbow of colors ...

Needless to say, J.K. Rowling needs to stop writing adult books and get back to HP so that I can appear in the next movie with my Unicorn Patronus. The future of Hogwarts totally depends on me!

Perhaps we should gather a petition?

So what if I'm a Tease! You know you like it!

Yeah that sounded way dirtier than anticipated. Or did it? Or did my commenting actually make it more dirty than originally read?

Regardless ...

I've been trying to finish up Stumble & Fall and am about 75% there. And so once in a GREAT while I like to share a little sum sum to leave people wanting. Well here's one of my favorite scenes and I'm hoping to goodness it doesn't give anything away!

It’s raining again. Tired of the precipitation and its wet residue, I decide it’s probably best to find some sort of shelter. Or maybe not. Maybe I should just let the rain wash away my pain and memories.

When I stumble upon a deteriorating picnic table at the edge of a pond, I find the rain has not yet made it to the surface of the water. Moving closer to the edge I place the cancer stick behind my ear and the lighter back into my purse. I bend over the edge and finally see the drops of water colliding with the pond and rippling as if they have no end.


It’s not long before I realize they are not in fact raindrops, but a showering of my misery and anguish.

Well, not so much a shower. My tear ducts have reached complete downpour by this point. I slowly back up to the bench and sit down.

And I cry.

I cry for what seems like hours.

I cry until its dark.

I cry until I hear the faint calls of what sounds like my name.

The voice puts an end to my tears.

My tears.

No one else’s.

Footsteps sound behind me, but I remain motionless staring at the dark, starlit water. I refuse to move. I refuse to acknowledge the rest of the world. Furthermore, I refuse to acknowledge the voice now calling my name followed by the sound of running.

 “Annabelle?” Tony cries.

I do not move. I do not speak.

The running ceases. “Annabelle?” Tony repeats. “Are you okay?”

Okay? Am I okay?

Obvious answer: No.

My answer: More silence.

I think Tony asks me if I’m okay a few more times. I’m not really sure. I can’t hear. I can’t talk. I can’t feel.

Finally Tony joins in my silence. It’s the most beautiful silence I’ve ever been part of; a silence that cannot be filled with any words, because there are no longer any words to be said.

My concept of time has been shattered, so I’m clueless as to how long it is silent before Tony scoops me into his arms, cradling me like a child. Though I want to protest and start punching and kicking and showing Tony my amazing ninja-like tactics, my entire body is frozen.

A salty drop of warm water hits my lips. This is not my tear. My tears are locked up. This tear and the following sparse tears which land on my almost numb cheek are definitely not mine. These tears belong to Tony.

I should feel bad.

I should care.

I should want to comfort him.

But I don’t. Instead, I lay lifeless in his arms bathing in the warmth of his tears while trying not to admit to myself that his pain pleasures me.

I'm not just an Awesome Writer ya Know!

I mean, I AM an awesome writer (or so they tell me ... I've still yet to be completely convinced!) and all, but there's so much more I do! Like, a lot more. Like, I probably shouldn't be reviving Poppins because there's so much more that I do. But Posh to That!

As it's been pretty much freaking FOREVER since I've done one ... I now present thine selves with ...

Top Ten Things Poppins Does BESIDES Writing!

1. I'm a mom! GASP!!! I know ... I had a feeling no one knew about that one. I mean, just because I'm searching for my inner Mary Poppins doesn't mean I have to be a mom, right? Well it's true. I raise three little devils angels as my "official" full time job. And there's something about cooking and cleaning and laundry ... but that's all just hearsay.


2. I design Websites. Mr. Poppins thinks I should do this for a living. I think he's cracked in the head because if I did it for a living I wouldn't find it fun anymore. DUH!!! Here's a couple of my favorites.

   

   This is by far my favorite. It's a site for my sister's artwork. All of the Design Images are actually her Paintings! Does it get any cooler than that!!!

   

   This is probably my second favorite. Probably just cuz I really like Pizza!

3. I run on the Board for Nami MI (National Alliance of Mental Health) and recently I was given the opportunity to go to Seattle, WA.While I was there I got to do LOTS of cool things like ...

   

   Visit and Eat at the Space Needle

   

   Do a Book Signing!

   

   Lend a man my coat!



4. Although if you had asked me a year and a half ago if I would EVER own a pet, I'd have said HEAL NO! ... I now own TWO dogs and I feel like that in itself is a full time job. My newest puppy, Henry is quite the beast!

   

   Why yes, that is a "Beware of Dog" Shirt!



5. I run ...







6. I blog ... like for a million blogs (number may or may not reflect actual number of blogs I write for.) Currently, besides my Ask a Bipolar blog I am blogging for International Bipolar Foundation, bpHope Magazine and WebMD. I know it seems like I'm kinda a big deal ... but I promise, I'm still just little ol' Poppins!
   


7. I've been dabbling a bit in photography. But unfortunately, I don't own a cool enough camera to REALLY get into it. (insert grumbles and profanity here) Here's a few photos I've tinkered with lately.

   

   This is one of my roses that bloomed in like March and died by the end of May!

   

   In case you didn't know ... I like wine!

   

   Meet Poncho. He's a bad @$$ mother puppy!

8. I now go to school! I'm officially entering my sophomore year as a psychology major. I'm old, I know. But I had to go back to school eventually! Now let's see if I can make it through my PHD? (Stop laughing! I can do it ... I swear ...)
   


9. I start random facebook groups. I'm not sure why, but about every few months I start a new one out of the blue. The newest has been fun though. We name the top 5 things every day that made us happy :) Feel free to join us!


10. I sit and ponder the meaning of life while drinking a margarita and/or glass of wine and toss back and forth ideas for new blogs, facebook pages, books, movies, ways to become a super star! It's really tiring work, but someone's gotta do it!

I'm pretty sure I do more, it's just hard to think of it after trying to cram in all those tiny pictures when blogger just wasn't having it in my ordered list. Sigh ...

When you don't write and/or do whatever it is that you do ... what do you spend your time on?

Is Poppins Back?

Well I've been doing some soul searching. Not that that's anything new. I'm pretty sure I'm soul searching at least every other day.

Examples:

"I'm in love with ice cream and I want us to be together forever!"

Two Days Later

"Sorbet is the best desert in the world and I don't know how I could have ever been in love with that dairy filled cream of ice."

or

"I'm going to be an author for the rest of my life!!!"

Two Days Later

"I'm going to go to school and study psychology!!!"

Four Days Later

"I'm going to be an advocate for mental illness and devote all my time to it!"

Needless to say ... I'm stinking indecisive in a very difficult sort of way. But it's what makes me me, so deal with it world! Bwahahahaha ...

Sorry, kinda got carried away there for a moment.

So ANYWHO ...

I've been searching my soul, which happens to be partial to Sorbet lately, and decided, "Damn, I really miss being funny!"

Cuz let's face it, running a website about bipolar disorder can get a bit depressing after awhile. And although my heart and soul are in it, I just think I need a little extra something to keep the happy around.

I was totally desperately searching for happy ... desperately searching??? HOLY BALLS!!! That's it! I need to revive Poppins. Even if for only a bit ... she just needs to come back!

So, here I am. I've once again redesigned the site. It's pretty lame and I'm sure it will change again, but at least now there is a bit more info about me and my books. Not to mention a killer picture of Fall Girl at #4 on Amazon right after the Hunger Games Trilogy!!!

So tell me what you think. Is it time for Poppins to return? If so, what is it you've missed the most?

Stay tuned to see here my soul searching lands me next!