Aug 22, 2016

When Your Midlife Crisis Hits and It's All ... I Got This! (As you're dying your hair blue)

Recently, okay maybe like in the last three to five years, my kids grew up and became preteen and teens. When I began this blog, my youngest was 4, my middle child was 6 and my oldest was 8 and they were all #cuteAF!

Now, I don't even have a photo of all three of them together because, um ... that's not cool! Duh!!! (Let's be honest, I totally just scoured through FB, Instagram and my phone to find one but um yeah ... all I got were these ...

And then the audacity of my now 15 year old daughter to freaking start looking like THIS!!!

Okay so that was a planned photo shoot and she actually usually looks like this (after her new hair cut...)

Still #cuteAF though, though all so much more grown up!!!

And although I adore them at these preteen and teen ages, something HUGE has changed.

They don't need me anymore ... well at least not as much.

What is a mom who is DESPERATELY Searching for her Inner Mary Poppins to do when she is barely needed past the task of making dinner??? (And if we are STILL being honest, "Make Your Own Dinner Night" happens a wee bit more than I'd like to admit so I'm really not NEEDed for that either.)

Enter Midlife Crisis!

But it's all good yo! I got this!

Recently ... 
  • I enrolled in college to complete my bachelor's degree! #completelynormal
  • I met a group of ladies in my new suburbian neighborhood who have similar interests as me Again ... #completelynormal
  • I began a workout plan ... Totally #completelynormal
See, I'm rocking this crisis like it's barely a crisis at all.

Shit ... I forgot we were being honest ...

So there may be a FEW things I left out.

I may have omitted a detail or more about some other things I've recently done since said crisis arrived.

Such as ...
  • In enrolling in college, I MAY or may not have also signed up for 5 classes in one semester #borderlinecrazysauce 
  • In meeting my new friends, some of our interests MAY or may not include watching trash TV and making fun of it, drinking wine, having girls night out and playing inappropriate card games. #TOTALLYnormalAF
  • I MAY or may not be having some issues with above mentioned workout plan and perhaps it isn't working out for me quite yet ... maybe it's the wine, or the diet that's not quite existent ... but I'm getting back in shape! I swear! #AisforEffortBitches
  • In realizing that my teen daughter seems to be a little less "typical" teenager than me ... I mean than I WAS at her age, we decided to start a youtube channel/FB Page making videos about who can teenage it better. #What? I MAY or may not usually win. #NormalAF
  • As I'm no longer working full time due to being in school, and it doesn't matter what the hell I look like anymore ... and as my daughter is refusing to take advantage of the joys of being a teenager, I MAY or may not have had a moment of weakness and did this ...

This I like to refer to as #MidLifeCrisisAF

But I've got this y'all. Totes.

I can handle it.

It's not like the first half of my book Fall Girl hasn't turned out to be about at LEAST 75% accurate or anything.

It's not like I'm flipping out like 90% of the time thinking about the next 8 years of my life after which I'll be back to working full time IF I can make it through my bachelor's program and then at LEAST 66% of my children will be off living on their own and I'm going to be all alone, being forced given the wonderful opportunity to get to know who I REALLY am and who my husband and I REALLY are as a couple or anything.

It's not like I feel lost and/or confused as well as lonely all the time because I don't even know what to do with all the extra time I'm being given as I no longer have to care for my children 24/7 as they are WAY too busy and cool for me now.

I'm totally cool with this Midlife Shit! 

It's the best. 

I'm working in #BeastMode now and killing it!

As such, I've decided to give this whole blogging thing a try again. Go back to my old "Poppins" identity. Search for that perfect imperfection once more ... just from a tiny bit NEW perspective.

As a mother of preteen/teens. 

Where ...  
  • Try as you might to keep it classy, language no longer matters ... the kids at school curse more than you do. Which is ridiculous because you use Fuck like a verb, noun, adjective, etc. and you can't keep up with the amount of vinegar needed to keep these kids' mouths clean. (Of COURSE I'm talking about the kids at school, not my children. They remain #classyAF)
  • All the household chores are now done by your minions without the fear of child labor laws because, DUH, you own them love them and gave birth to them and they owe you this labor!!! want to prepare them for the world ahead by teaching them what it's like to do a little work from time to time.
  • You are no longer the person they run to when they get hurt, when they want someone to play with, when they need help with homework, when they get scared, when they have questions about how the world works, when they can't figure shit out, etc because you are no longer #CoolMom ... you are now #EweMom and that's why they have friends who know EVERYTHING since you no longer know NOTHING. AKA: You are now #JohnSnow.
  • You have so much damn time on your hands that at LEAST 80% of the time all you have left to do is focus on YOU! #scaryAF
It's probably not that bad really. I know my kids love me. But this new life IS rather scary and I'm thinking I may need some help maneuvering through it. I should probably not ask them how to do it since they've got nothing everything figured out already! But I don't want to cut into their YouTube Watching/Video Game Playing Book Reading/Studying time.

So here I stand kids ... back in the blogging game ... just looking for a LOT little bit of guidance.

Mid Life Crisis! FUCK YEAH!


Laura Maglio said...

You're a rockstar just like me! #NFL oh yeah!!

Laura Maglio said...

You're a rockstar just like me! #NFL oh yeah!!