Aug 25, 2009

Home Schooling and Me

In my last comment of the day yesterday Jessica Nelson over at Booking It asked me if I home schooled.

My Answer... Oh goodness I'd never do that to my children!!!

Now I could be wrong (I'm NEVER wrong...) but I have a feeling my readers MIGHT be entertained to know why I am not fit to be a home schooling mom. Don't get me wrong, I think I am pretty decent mom 92% of the time, but I am in no way fit to school my own children.

Why? Funny you should ask! I've decided to give you ...

The Top 10 Reasons Why Poppins is Not Fit to Teach

1. To my great disappointment, apparently BeJeweled Blitz is not a government approved subject. (Although it COULD be an elective?!?!)

2. I'm not sure that an education based on literature, English, grammar and spelling alone would get them very far in life. Granted I can add and multiply, once you get past the basic gets kinda shaky!

3. I don't do Science. I don't find anything cool about bugs, dead frogs, homemade bombs, electrons, chemistry, planets, earth, etc. in even the smallest amount.

4. I had to ask my husband what war Gone With The Wind took place during and, "That was before World War II right?" Thus my expertise in history...slightly lacking

5. I need a break from my children. I can't take 365 days a year of "Stop touching me!", "I didn't do it!" and "You're gonna break my Lego House!" I. Just. Can't. Do. It!!!

6. Did you know that kids are noisy? Or is that just my kids? I'm really more of a "quiet" person.

7. I could be wrong...but I think it takes effort to school the children. That doesn't really fit in to my plans to spend the fall and winter being super lazy.

8. I wouldn't want to put teachers out of a job. After all, they go to school for all that stuff. Pay massive student loans. And see I am so awesome that if I home schooled my kids...everyone would want to home school their kids and then tons of my friends would be unemployed! (Though that would free up a little more time for them to return back to Blogger...I'm not that cruel!)

9. Is Harry Potter a subject? Cuz I'd be SUPER good at teaching it! What about the History of Gnomes?

10. So kids don't listen to ever. I tell my child NOT to touch that and after about the 5th time....well yeah, he's still touching it. How can I teach a child who ignores me?!?!

So those are just a few reasons why I would not be fit to teach my children. The list does go on and on, but I don't want to bore you :)

NOW please don't think I am anti-home schooling. I have a sister, neighbor and sister in law who have done it quite effectively. BUT I am not the right kind of mom to do it. It takes a very special woman to do it...and although I'm special in MANY ways (mostly in the ways of awesomeness!) that is just not one of them.

So to simple answer your question Jessica, No, I do not home school my kids!


marymac said...

DITTO HERE! That yellow school bus pulling up to my house is just too sexy to pass up!

You rock, Poppins!

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

Good for you! I'm glad I'm not the only one who is glad to have experts teach my kids! I'm happy to help on the writing end, but that's all I know! (And I especially ascribe to #5!) :)

Mystery Writing is Murder

Tobby Smith said...'ve never thought of the big Yellow Bus as sexy...but I can totally see where you are coming from there!

Elizabeth...isn't it nice to know we are not alone :)

Marybeth Poppins said...

So that up there is what happens when the husband doesn't sign out of his blogger!!! Please don't fear the creepy guy responding to you. That was just me :) I AM the creepy guy! LOL (at least he's cute!)

Linda B said...

Sexy...I love it!! I think Harry Potter SHOULD be a subject!! My kids would totally ace it!!

KM said...

Bahaha! I was homeschooled and loved it, but my mother tried to homeschool my older sister and umm...let's just say it didn't go over so well. Yikes. It also takes a certain kind of child to be homeschooled, not just the mom IMHO.

Diane said...

Awhhhhhhh.... I thought Mary Poppins was perfect in almost every way. I guess we are all human after all. :O)

Jessica said...


Wow, so glad I inspired a blog post. :-) I'm glad I'm not the only one who doesn't want to homeschool. All my mommy friends are doing it and I feel kind of bad, like I don't love my kids or something because I don't want to do it. At all. LOL
Love, love your list! Heehee.

I can help you out with number 10, but it takes effort. When you tell the kid no, watch them. Don't tell them five times. One time. Then act as soon as they disobey. Take away a game or send them to their room, whatever you do. I got into the habit of telling my kids no like fifty times and it doesn't work. They won't listen unless we back up the first no with some serious, mommy action. Snort! And I bet you'd come up with some painful stuff. *snicker*

Thanks for answering my question!

Jessica said...

btw, I don't think you could ever bore us. You're too funny!

T. Anne said...

LOL at bejewled being a subject. Is there no eye hand coordination? And oh what the colors and sounds can do to your senses...please rethink this, I beg of you!

Foursons said...

I so hear ya' on all of these points! Once my kids get to 2nd grade- I can no longer help with math. It's that bad.

Heart2Heart said...

You know so many times as a homeschooling mom I wish I could teach them different subjects but I understand the value of the life lessons they will need to know in the real world.

Growing up is so difficult and life in our schools is becoming a life and death experience lately. What happened to old fashioned kids like we were growing up? Where did the violence come from?

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

ElanaJ said...

I only teach because I can send the kids home to their parents at the end of the day. Great list! Funny!

Jaime Theler said...

This made me laugh and start composing my own list of why I would not be a good homeschooler. I really like the Harry Potter class idea, though.

Katie Ganshert said...

Okay, number 7 had me laughing out loud! Seriously hysterical (is that an oxymoron?)

Anyway, I'm a public school teacher, and just like Elana, enjoy sending them home at the end of the day. :)

CMOM Productions said...

I love my kids and I worry about them every second they aren't with me. Although, it is easier when Grandma's with them. When I send them off to school it's not easy, but I am active in their school so that helps. I support and salute home schooling parents, but it's not for me either.

I agree with Kat/Heart2Heart on the violence in schools these days though. That is the scary part.

I do love your subjects MB! Maybe yours is a more advanced schooling... Degree from Poppins University anyone? :)