Aug 4, 2009

Not so "Fun Sized"

There are some people out there that look much older than they are. *cough cough my husband cough cough* You know the ones... those who don't even get carded on their 21st birthday, who go to the casino and just walk right past the guards, and the ones whose hair begins to gray and thin before the age of 30. We all know a few or more people like that. When we are young we envy them, as we get older we start to pity them just a tiny bit.

But then there are those like me! Forever stuck at the age of 15. Where is my pity? Instead I get comments like, "You'll love it when you get older!" and "You're so cute!" I swear I am to the point that if I get called "cute" one more time I may just turn into a rabid little beast and tear someone's head off vomit.

Here are the main 3 of the reasons WHY I look like I'm merely 15....

1. I'm under 5ft!

2. I have the figure of a 12 year old who has just "started" developing! That's right kids, break out the band-aids, the mosquito bites need to be covered up!

3. My face looks like a landing strip for a drunken pilot. Little red dots cover half the surface and refuse to disappear. Just when I think my face has cleared up little Susie Pimple rears her ugly red head and refuses to go away until at leas 5 more have taken her place!

Here are the top 10 reasons I despise these "cute" little features

1. It is not enjoyable to be asked 4 months after having a baby, "Oh how old is she?" and after answering then asked (in the same annoyingly cutesy voice) "And how old is mama?" Seriously! Have we no tact people!!! I'm not 13 year old baby's mama!!! Do you not see the ring on my finger!

2. When going to a Casino where the legal age is 18 and you are 27, it is quite irritating to be stopped while walking up to a set of Nickle Slots just to have my ID checked.

3. I'm not sure why it is necessary to be carded for a mere bottle of NICE red wine while standing in line with 3 cranky kids all calling me "Mommy" and trying to fuss with a bunch of grocery bags. I mean really. I know anyone who looks "Under 30" is suppose to be carded, but do I really look like I started having babies at the age of 12? And why would someone under age bother to buy a NICE bottle of wine. Don't they always go for the Boonsfarm?

4. As much as I think having a cute little voice is enjoyable, I do not enjoy being asked if my mother is home when I answer the phone. (Unless it 's a telemarketer. Then I just say no and hang up!)

5. Since my husband does happen to look at least 5 years older...I have a feeling that he does not always like to look like the dirty old man dating the 15 year old. But that's just an assumption!

6. After the 2,510th time...I have slightly become resentful of the statement "You don't LOOK old enough to have 3 kids." Sigh....Does the fact that I FEEL 42 play into this equation at all?

7. Teachers treat you just like the students. They do not take you seriously and think that since you "Don't LOOK old enough to have 3 kids" you must have gotten pregnant at 13 and don't know what the heck you are talking about.

8. Although it is cheaper to shop in the children's section...eyes do tend to linger when I have my 8 year old in tow and I buy the Tinkerbell shirt for me and not her.

9. The joke that I could "technically" get handicapped parking if only I was a 1/2 inch shorter because then I could be considered a midget...not really funny.

10. Cute...Seriously...Cute! Can't they come up with any other word? Do you think a 28 year old woman in high heels, thick make up and a low cut shirt is looking to be called Cute? Yeah, me either!

Ok I'll stop with my ranting. Maybe tomorrow I'll name all the reasons I ENJOY being a tiny cute little woman who looks 15....


Theresa said...

i, too, feel your frustrations...i was carded last friday to buy my bottle of rooster (along with 3 kids about the same height as i am and $200 worth of groceries).
i even asked the cashier if the plethora of white hairs popping out of my tiny little head wasn't a dead give-away. she just gave me a little grin. my own neighbor, yes, neighbor!!! asked if my mom were home. i quickly responded with my usual "no, she's in michigan, would you like her number?"
i'm sure it's a blessing....WHEN I'M 65 standing in line to sign up for social security and they ask for ID.

Theresa said...

correction: i was not purchasing the 3 tall children...they were merely forced to accompany me on my weekly shopping adventures...

MeganRebekah said...

It happens to tall people too!

I'm twenty-six and recently went to a boutique store in the mall with my 16 year old sister. The sales lady was giving us the pitch about the store credit card then paused to ask "Wait, are you girls even 18?".
I explained that I was, but little sis wasn't and she replied, "Oh, I thought you were twins."

I wasn't sure if I should be insulted or complimented so we just laughed it off and moved on.

Mind you I'm 5'9" and my little sis is taller than me. So it wasn't my size that threw her off.

Scott said...

Not to disparage the state I live in . . . but, if you lived in TN, and had 3 kids, you could have started having them at 12. Serioulsy. When I first moved down here, most of the women I worked with were in their early, early twenties and had 2 or 3 kids. Geesh!

Loved the post. Luckily, I'm not aging as fast as other members of my family. Oh, and getting carded onced you reach a certain age (say, twenty-twenty), it's a pleasure.

Your post was too dang funny and made me laugh. Thanks.


Katie Ganshert said...

This is why I love you. I know this is incredibly serious stuff, but I could help but laugh out loud when I read number nine. Sorry *puts on a straight face*, that is awful. :)

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

This is so funny, Marybeth! I'd be spitting fire too, if I'd been called 'cute' that many times.

When I was a kid, everyone would say, "She's so leeetle." (Southern accent intended there.) I'm really tall, but was so skinny as a kid. And I hated hearing those words! I remember gritting my teeth each time....

Mystery Writing is Murder

Marybeth Poppins said...

Ahhh sister...alas someone who feels my pain :) LOL

MeganRebeka ... Skinny, short, lovely skin. All the things that make us look younger than we are. All these blessings...that don't kick in till we are 40! LOL

Scott, I can assure you I wasn't having babies at age 12! LOL I just look like it!

My husband loves #9 too...and at the same time wishes I was an inch shorter just so he didn't have to walk so far! LOL He can be so encouraging sometimes :) Laugh away! It's what it was meant for!

It's funny how some people can THINK they are giving a compliment but actually they are kinda being insulting...LOL We'll let them think they are being nice I suppose ;)

Kiersten said...

Oh, ROCK ON. My favorite is, "How old are your kids?" Tell them. "How old are YOU?" Tell them. "Oh, good, because you look like you're seventeen!"

Yes, thank you, I had a baby at thirteen and then was dumb enough to get knocked up AGAIN two years later. Flattering.

And I have to know--how short? I'm 4'11".

CKHB said...

I'm 5'4" now, but I was below the first percentile in height and weight until 7th grade. That's right, I was so small, I didn't even make it onto the graphs.

I can understand being carded -- I'm still being carded at age 35 -- but there's NO excuse for "how old is mama?" NONE.

Oh, and I once went on vacation alone with my dad when I was sixteen (my mom hates skiing, we like it), and at the end of the week I found out that the ENTIRE RESORT thought we were sleeping together. One of the 30-somethings who was hitting on me finally fessed up -- they all thought I looked young, but figured I had to be at least 18, or else my dad (late 40s at the time) wouldn't dare be out in public with me. GAH!

Marybeth Poppins said...

Kiersten...Anyone under 5ft is a friend of mine!

I have you by 3/4 of an inch! Just shy of 5ft BUT my license says 5ft. Hope they don't ever need a reason to actually measure me. If so, I hope I'm wearing heels!

Marybeth Poppins said...

CKHB... Only ONE out of my three kids is actually on the charts. They are all super tiny like me. I don't know if I ever made it on there myself, but I highly doubt it!

And that is HORRIBLE about the resort. Didn't they notice you looked alike? Don't you just love how people like to jump to conclusions! LOL

T. Anne said...

Ahh Poppins, welcome to my world. I still get is your mother home. People used to say I was too young to have kids (they now say kids that old) but eventually I stopped listening. Once when I was holding my first child someone said, 'please tell me your the big sister'. Yes, people are rude, most of them are sort of hard wired that way. *sigh* such is life. Please try and refrain from vomiting or going rabid it only exaserbates the situation... ;)

Marybeth Poppins said...

T. Anne I promise to only go rabid or vomit every 5 times...which could still be often ... but it's a compromise ;)

And yeah I'm starting to get the "kids that old" statement not that they aren't babies any more. That one is great too!

Jessica said...

Wow, you've actually made me feel sorry for you. :-) Sheesh. I wouldn't want to be called cute either.

Jeannie Campbell, LMFT said...

give me their names and numbers. i'll set up an appointment. :) do you strikethrough your text while blogging? i can't get mine to do that for nothing! tips, please! :)

Jody Hedlund said...

I'm laughing at number four! I wish I had that problem with telemarketers! Too funny, Marybeth! Thanks for giving me a good laugh today! Loved your post!

Danyelle said...

I'm not laughing. Really. O:) It's nice to know that I'm not the only grown-up that has the figure of a pre-teen, that gets mistaken for a little girl over the phone, and who gets told she's too young to have so many children.

Jenny Penny said...

Well, I was out with your sister this past weekend, and the doorman asked us for the cover charge. She thought he said "card" and proceeded to show him her ID, which he dutifully checked. Then I said, "Do you take cards?" meaning my credit card, but he thought I was about to show my ID, and he said, "I don't need to see YOUR card." She has a hearing aid, for cripes sake! And he checked her ID!? Just sayin' --- It's no fun too look old either. ;)

Heart2Heart said...


I had never thought of it the way you had described or understood the frustrations you have to deal with. I guess most people, me included, would think it would be great to be thought of as younger than we currently are, but as you have listed here, it's not just a one time thing.

Oh now if only I could get someone to call me cute or to card me once again. (drifts away into another place in time)

Love and Hugs ~ Kat

ElanaJ said...

I have friends who are short too. Just because you're short doesn't mean you're young! It's one of their biggest complaints too.

Marybeth Poppins said...

No need to feel sorry for me Jessica. I like who I am :) ... I just don't like being cute...LOL

Jeannie, next time someone asks for my idea I'll make sure to take down their name and number. I'll say "There is someone I need you to talk to about this." :D

Jody, I do suppose #4 is a blessing and a curse ... possibly more of a blessing!

Danyelle...Don't you love it when you're not alone! I love that you know how it feels :D

Jenny...LOL...And I'm littler than HER!!! And no way do you look too old to be carded. He must have assumed since she was old enough you were too!

Kat, It's hard feelings. And I do know that one day I am going to enjoy being cute and young day...

Elana...I'm not sure who decided short means young. Really tall people don't automatically get considered to be old! Who knows :) Tell your friend they have my sympathies!

MeganRebekah said...

Really tall people are usually thought to be older.

My brother is 6'9" and 21. Everyone assumes he's mid to late twenties, or even thirty.

When he was 14, I was 19, and I got carded buying a scratch off lotto ticket. I told him about it, so he went into the same store, with the same clerk and got a lotto ticket without being carded. Because he's a giant.

CB said...

I still think you're as cute as a pixie! :D

And, better off than a lot of people who look like hags at 27. ;)

Been out of commission with the kids going back to school... Will spend some time reading your previous posts soon.

CMOM Productions said...

We've had fun conversations about this topic before haven't we? LOL I could add a number of things to this list myself and have considered doing a pro's & con's of being "tiny" too. It's funny, but it's not. As long as you embrace your petite frame, screw the dirty looks from strangers. That's my motto anyway. Heck, I live it up a little and toy with them sometimes too. lol

Carnimire said...

I know just how you feel. I'm a shade over 5 feet, but for some strange reason people think I am this wee little thing.
Had to have a hysterectomy recently, and EVERY SINGLE medical provider I had to deal with told me I was too young for one, and that it was a pity I wouldn't now be able to have kids. Couldn't the just 'read' on my reports that I am almost 40, and am a mother of two?