There are some people out there that look much older than they are. *cough cough my husband cough cough* You know the ones... those who don't even get carded on their 21st birthday, who go to the casino and just walk right past the guards, and the ones whose hair begins to gray and thin before the age of 30. We all know a few or more people like that. When we are young we envy them, as we get older we start to pity them just a tiny bit.
But then there are those like me! Forever stuck at the age of 15. Where is my pity? Instead I get comments like, "You'll love it when you get older!" and "You're so cute!" I swear I am to the point that if I get called "cute" one more time I may just turn into a rabid little beast and tear someone's head off vomit.
Here are the main 3 of the reasons WHY I look like I'm merely 15....
1. I'm under 5ft!
2. I have the figure of a 12 year old who has just "started" developing! That's right kids, break out the band-aids, the mosquito bites need to be covered up!
3. My face looks like a landing strip for a drunken pilot. Little red dots cover half the surface and refuse to disappear. Just when I think my face has cleared up little Susie Pimple rears her ugly red head and refuses to go away until at leas 5 more have taken her place!
Here are the top 10 reasons I despise these "cute" little features
1. It is not enjoyable to be asked 4 months after having a baby, "Oh how old is she?" and after answering then asked (in the same annoyingly cutesy voice) "And how old is mama?" Seriously! Have we no tact people!!! I'm not 13 year old baby's mama!!! Do you not see the ring on my finger!
2. When going to a Casino where the legal age is 18 and you are 27, it is quite irritating to be stopped while walking up to a set of Nickle Slots just to have my ID checked.
3. I'm not sure why it is necessary to be carded for a mere bottle of NICE red wine while standing in line with 3 cranky kids all calling me "Mommy" and trying to fuss with a bunch of grocery bags. I mean really. I know anyone who looks "Under 30" is suppose to be carded, but do I really look like I started having babies at the age of 12? And why would someone under age bother to buy a NICE bottle of wine. Don't they always go for the Boonsfarm?
4. As much as I think having a cute little voice is enjoyable, I do not enjoy being asked if my mother is home when I answer the phone. (Unless it 's a telemarketer. Then I just say no and hang up!)
5. Since my husband does happen to look at least 5 years older...I have a feeling that he does not always like to look like the dirty old man dating the 15 year old. But that's just an assumption!
6. After the 2,510th time...I have slightly become resentful of the statement "You don't LOOK old enough to have 3 kids." Sigh....Does the fact that I FEEL 42 play into this equation at all?
7. Teachers treat you just like the students. They do not take you seriously and think that since you "Don't LOOK old enough to have 3 kids" you must have gotten pregnant at 13 and don't know what the heck you are talking about.
8. Although it is cheaper to shop in the children's section...eyes do tend to linger when I have my 8 year old in tow and I buy the Tinkerbell shirt for me and not her.
9. The joke that I could "technically" get handicapped parking if only I was a 1/2 inch shorter because then I could be considered a midget...not really funny.
10. Cute...Seriously...Cute! Can't they come up with any other word? Do you think a 28 year old woman in high heels, thick make up and a low cut shirt is looking to be called Cute? Yeah, me either!
Ok I'll stop with my ranting. Maybe tomorrow I'll name all the reasons I ENJOY being a tiny cute little woman who looks 15....