It was while reading a post today about nursing babies that I began to think. I relished in the way she described how easily it came to her. How naturally it all just happened. Her babies looked at her and smiled. They then latched right on and God said, "Let there be bonding!" And there was! I was jealous. Nursing did not come naturally to me. It was complicated and heart breaking with each child. My babies looked at me, frowned and said "You want me to do what with your nipple?" And it all went down hill from there. I couldn't nurse the first because I had postpartum and needed medication. A medicated mama was better for my daughter than my milk could have ever been. The second just didn't take to it, not sure why. Maybe I didn't try hard enough, but he really just didn't seem interested. He was usually too busy staring at my hair or my shirt to ever concentrate hard enough on what HE was suppose to do. My last child was the worst. At first we bonded. Finally! Nature may be attempting to be kind to me! Or not...it was short lived when I began to pump in order to get ready for going back to work and he decided he liked the bottle better than me. It was less work for him, and who wants to work for their food! Nursing surely did not come naturally to me.
This made me sit and ponder. Why do some things come so naturally to some, and not to others? Why do some of the things that some people do with ease, seem to be such a struggle for me? It's not a complaint really. It's actually just mere contemplation. I do not understand how some of the things that Mother Nature intended for Man Kind have some how eluded to find their way to me. It's not just nursing either. Let's talk about the entire realm of motherhood. Should I not know the difference between my child needing a bath or just a wipe down from a diaper wipe? But one is so much easier than the other some days! And shouldn't my motherly clock say "Your child is crying, you need to decipher the problem!"? But he's been doing that ALL DAY, can't he just figure out how to flip his underwear around on his own!!! And "Oh SHIT!" how did I miss breakfast this morning, it surely can't be 11:00am already! Motherhood has done anything but come to naturally me. Was I too young to have children? Maybe, or maybe I'm just clueless as to how such a sweet, bright young child does NOT know how to follow simple instructions such as "Go to your room!". Really, I think it's quite a simple task.
We can even go one step further. (Shut your eyes children, your mothers won't want you to read this!) Isn't one's sex drive SUPPOSE to naturally come back a couple years after you have children. Did mine miss me and head over to the neighbors? Or wait! Maybe it just jumped on top of my husband's and doubled his? Well it seems that way at least.....since mine is never present and his never goes away. Um Mother Nature!!!! Give me the boost, not him!
These natural things.....things that are suppose to just "come to us". They keep looking at me and laughing as they pass right by me. How does that work? Does Mother Nature have it in for me? Was it because I picked the leaves off of trees before they were ready to fall when I was 5? Was it that fire fly I smooshed against the pavement, just to look at the "glitter" spread all over when I 7? Maybe it was somewhere in my teenage years that I pissed her off, or possibly in my early adulthood. But seriously!!! I didn't mean it, I promise.
"A little help here Mother Nature!!!"
Has she passed you by? What natural things, the ones that appear more like talents you were never blessed with, did not find their way to you? I know I'm not alone here kids! Right?!?!?!