Jul 9, 2009

Writing a How To Guide

I recently (as in 5 minutes ago) joined the eHow website as a way to earn some extra money while at the same time being able to write. Here are some of the topics they suggested I write about...

How to Wra
p Hair at Bedtime

How to Wrap Hands How to Write a Thriller Script

How to Write an Adult Film

How to Write an HTML Email

How to Write Bb Clarinet Music

How to Write Greeting Cards

How to Build a Fiberglass Overhead Console

How to Soundproof a Bedroom

How to Touch Up Car Paint

How to Wear a Baby Sling

Sadly I do not know "How to" do ANY of these things, unless you count pulling out the nail polish to cover up the scratch you put on daddy's mustang the same as touching up car paint. Yes even the Baby Sling eludes me. I just carried my babies. And although writing about "How to write and Adult Film" sounds enticing. (About as enticing as writing about "How to pull of your finger nails") I think I am a bit lost.

If I am sticking with things I DO know how to do, then my list is going to look a bit more like this...

How to Choose Which Color Pen to Edit With (Pink of course!)

How to Travel with a Gnome by Your Side

How to Sweep a Floor 10 Times a Day

How to Put off Doing the Laundry All Week

How to Drink a Glass of Wine

How to Convince a Four Year Old to Take a Nap

How to Annoy Your Husband (by Writing All Day instead of Cooking Dinner)

How to Pull of a Clean House in the Last 10 Minutes Before Your Husband Gets Home

How to Eat a Tub of Raspberry Sorbet in One Serving

How to Prepare for the Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince Movie

How to Microwave a Hot Dog

Now THESE things I could write articles about....do you think I'm on the right track?


marymac said...

Well, I am glad you took my suggestion to check out ehow! lol. My advice would be to write about things people are Goggling, because that's how you make the most money. Good luck, Poppins!

CB said...

Now I want to go check out this ehow thing and see what "know how" things fit my personality.

I envy you waiting for HP and getting to watch it immediately... I'll have a bit of a wait here :( and it's driving me NUTS.

Scott said...

Ooooh, I'm with you on "How to Drink a Glass of Wine". In fact, it sometimes takes me 3 hours to drink a glass of wine because I get busy doing other things. Hmmmm . . .

I could also do eHows on . . .

How to Cover Up the Poop in the Litter Box the Cat is too Lazy to Cover up on Her Own

How to Teach My Dogs to Wave Bye-Bye (yes, I did, btw, and they're so dang cute)

How to Step In the Cat Vomit Time and Time Again

Geesh, Marybeth, I think my mind's going to explode!


Marybeth Poppins said...

Scott you crack me up!!!

CB...I feel incredibly sorry for you. I will let you know how absolutely wonderful it was...or not...lol

Thanks for the idea PJ&C...you rock. Now just to come up with some decent ideas. It actually sounds fun...I just need something worth writing about :)

sherrinda said...

What a fun post!!! I absolutely love the ones about the husband! Too funny!

Now I could write a few:

How to get your kids to leave every kitchen cabinet open during the night.

How to get your kids fill up the empty space underneath the bed with trash and dirty socks.

How to get your cat to pee in every backpack and locker bag.

Thanks for the smiles!

Katie Ganshert said...

How to eat a hotdog! Who wouldn't pay hordes of money to read such a article? Pinch me if you can't find the masses lined up at the door. :)

I would write:

How to look like you've showered when you really haven't

How to eat five granola bars in a row

I'm sure I know how to do other things, I just can't think of any right now.

Marybeth Poppins said...

It's pretty difficult to think of all the things you know "how to" do!

Karen Amanda Hooper said...

I think that's why I only write what's in my head. I'd suck at the "how to" stuff. lol

The deMented Mom said...

I can't get beyond the "How to Wear A Baby Sling"...you mean that there's enough information for a book there? The scarier thought is that there are people who would actually read such a thing! LOL!

I love your site..you have a wonderful way with words.

Elizabeth Spann Craig said...

Oh, too funny! I didn't know Ehow assigned topics for you to write on. I think my the stuff I know about would look a lot more like your list.

Mystery Writing is Murder

Jody Hedlund said...

I LOVE your blog! You just gave me a good laugh and I needed that today! Thanks!

Jessica said...

LOL! Such cute how-tos. :-) Let us know when you get some articles up! You're too hilarious!

Cathie said...

I know your how to do list as well!