Dear Mother Nature,
I know it is suppose to be "the thought that counts", but seriously. Although your intentions may have been genuine, I'm not so sure you chose the right gift. I know... I know... I should be happy you took the time to give me anything at all. It's not every day you send out Birthday Presents. But really, one gift would have been enough.
Bronchitis was a lovely thought. Who doesn't want to hack up a lung on their birthday! It was a lovely gesture. However, I think the double ear infection was a little bit over the top! It is a little known fact that most people enjoy staying up late to ring in their Birthday, but I do not believe a throbbing ear was the right way to keep me awake.
Point being made, sweet darling Mother Nature. Please don't give me any gifts next year. It was kinda of you to think of me, but a simple "Happy Birthday" will suffice in the coming years.
Sincerely Your Ungrateful Friend,