Jun 29, 2009

The Importance of Owning a Lawn Mower

Ok I tried. I tried to stay away from the Blogosphere, but then all these fun posts entered my head and I can't wait to share them! It's my husbands fault really. Here I pledge to stay away from Blogland for a complete week and he's all like "What? Well that's just retarded! Especially when you have a video of me surfing on a slip and slide!!!!!" (Can't wait to share that video with you all!) So I give up! Here is a story as to HOW my vacation started :)

The Importance of Owning a Lawn Mower

Worry previously plagued our minds when told we needed to upkeep the lawn and yard of our newly rented house. Isn't that what landlords are for? Not ours! Excitement and relief washed over us as we saw the dirty green lawn mower sitting in the garage. If felt good to know we would not be purchasing a new one for a house that did not belong to us.

Spring rounded the corner and the grass started to look untidy. Moving up from a 3 bedroom apartment, my husband became a bit excited at the thought of mowing a lawn again. Unfortunately he was in for a large disappointment when the generously left behind mower refused to start. No amount of handy work would bring the machine back to life.

We were stuck. Our lawn became a jungle.

We decided it was high time we called a lawn service. To our dismay we were informed that lawn services do NOT want to cut your lawn unless you sign a season long contract. We just wanted someone to come remove the jungle so we could hire the next door neighbor or something for the upkeep. WRONG!

Craigslist....ahhhh Craigslist....brought me to a small family owned service that was more than happy to cut our lawn one time...for $40! We thought, "It's all good!" Considering lions could easily be hidden in the stalks of grass now growing behind our house, we were willing to pay about anything rid ourselves of the over grown field.

He came, he cut...ONLY the back yard! SERIOUSLY?!?! Um buddy, you forgot the front. He said to me, "I didn't bring a mower for that portion." SERIOUSLY!!!!

Needless to say, we never called him back, BUT the jungle was gone!

So there is this guy that wanders our neighborhood on a regular basis begging to cut people's lawns. He's a bit creepy, and something tells me he is not using the money for food or rent, BUT at least he's out there working. Well my husband wanted to help him out and give him a chance. Sweet...no issues there. Tells him to come over Friday.

This is how it went...bear with me...this is the BEST part!!!


3:00 pm - (10 minutes before we had to leave to bring the kids to the grandparents.) The man shows up at our door. After my child points out that he, "needs to brush his teeth." because he is missing a few, my hubby...generous man that he is...and possibly completely embarrassed... gives the nice man $10 and tells him he will give him the other $10 after we get back if the lawn is mowed. Guy is all excited and says he'll have the lawn mowed by the time we get back. (We then give the child a short lecture about NOT being so honest!)

5:30 pm - We return from dropping off the kids. Lawn is not mowed. Lawn man is nowhere to be found. We leave for dinner.

7:00 pm - Come back. Lawn is not mowed. We sit down and decide to have a drink and play some "1 vs. 100" on the XBox 360.

8:30 pm - Lawn man arrives "I um, had to take a break," he says. (So ... we gave him $10 and he immediately had to take "a break". Good to know.)

8:35 pm - He gets the mower to the back yard then knocks on our door. He tells my husband he ran out of gas and says, "Can I get some more money to go buy some." SERIOUSLY! We just gave you $10 buddy! Hubby declines. So the guys says, "Can I leave the mower here and come back tomorrow?" I'm laughing at this point. We agree.


The morning comes and goes. No lawn man.

1:30 pm - We've waited long enough. We had things do, bodies to work out, kids to pick up, and family to visit out of town for the day. So we head out.

3:30 pm We are on the way to go get the kids when my neighbor calls and says, "There is a creepy man out in your front yard just sitting there." I requested they tell him we wouldn't be home till late. We were already out of town by then and he didn't have a phone where we could call him directly. They agree.

We go, we enjoy our evening.

10:30 pm - Neighbor calls AGAIN to say creepy man is BANGING on our door and won't stop. I check to make sure he let him know we wouldn't be home till late, he did. I again request that they tell him we are nowhere NEAR town and it will be very late when we get home.

So I'm kinda weirded out by this point and decide it's time to go home. I say goodbye to my brother and his family and we head out.

12 am - We arrive home and start getting the kids out of the car. Lawn man comes riding up on his bike to collect his remaining $10!!!! It's 12AM!!!! BUT the lawn IS mowed and he has done everything he promised. Hubby hands him his money and says goodnight.


9:00 am - We bought our own lawn mower.


Kate Karyus Quinn said...

OMG that is such a terribly and yet very funny story! My family also just recently moved into a rental house where we are in charge of maintaining our own lawn. It has been quite the adventure for my husband who had never before in his life had to mow the lawn - so far though he hasn't lost any fingers, so I guess you could say it is all working out okay;)

Katie said...

Oh my goodness! That is incredibly funny, and incredibly creepy! I love how you ended your blog. Great writing voice, girl.

Jessica said...

Oh ROFL!!!!!

Jeannie Campbell said...

wow. creep-ola. and good for you. owning your own lawn mower is 100% american. and so timely, as the 4th is days away. i'm sure that yard of yours will be looking pristine. :)

Jean@Yardworkerz said...

That's so funny... you forgot to tell the name of the lawn man. I want to hire him so I can write a funny story too.. LOL (.


Christine said...

I'm LOL'ing....what a complete weirdo...seriously! I loved the post and how you cued us to the "BEST" part, priceless.

I really thought towards the end that there would be police involved...thank God he didn't keep coming back. Weirdo.

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