Yesterday I had the privilege (possibly not QUITE the word I was looking for...) to play the part of "Day Care Provider" for the day. After spending 4 hours with 5 children who were not mine, I came to a couple heart felt conclusions.
1. Three children is more than enough. Five is too many. My mother must have lost her mind when she decided she would like to have six kids, that or she really wasn't paying too much attention when practicing 'The Rhythm Method'!
2. I do not feel that the career of Day Care Providing was intended for me. Some women/men are destined for the job. Me? Not so much.
Now number 2 comes with a whole set of incredibly VALID reasons!
1. Day Care Providers need patience only God himself could possibly possess, and he did not find it necessary to share that patience with me for some reason.
3. I am more anal about cleaning than I ever would have guessed. That is correct. I spent about an hour watching children pick up a toy, and after looking at it for about two seconds, decide the toy looked funny, smelled funny, or was not big enough to create the mass destruction intended, they would then throw it onto an obscure place in the middle of the floor. After that hour I about caved and decided it was the perfect moment for Clean Up Time! I just can't do the whole toys in the middle of the Living Area thing. It's too distracting for my obsessive mind to comprehend!
4. It's really hard to NOT yell at children when they are being insanely irritating, and you really aren't suppose to when these children are not your own. At home this is not an issue. I can yell and scream ALL day long. I am not going to offend anyone's parents by spouting parental threats at my kids like, "If you don't stop crying, I'll give you something to cry about!" or "Stay out of the middle of the road, or you'll become road kill!" (learned that one from my sister! Classic!) or "Don't make me come over there, or you'll regret it!". These threats (though never...ok...rarely... carried out) are necessary for parenting. Unfortunately you just can't use them on other people's children.
5. I don't like poop. It smells ... really bad ... and for some reason, twice as bad when it's not your own child's poop.
6. I don't like wiping noses, and again, for some reason it's just grosser than wiping your own kids snot.
7. I am incapable of spending more than 3 minutes on any of the following games: Duck Duck Goose, I Spy, Hide the Toy, etc. before inevitably trying to move on the the next game in hopes that it will be quieter/calmer. Each time I attempted this, I failed miserably!
8. Now noticing that I completely SKIPPED number two and realizing that I obviously can not count, I do not believe I am capable of educating young children. ("Ok kids, let's count to 10. 1,3,4,5....") And correct me if I'm wrong, but isn't that suppose to be part of the job?
9. Did you know that when you are paying attention to a room full of kids, there is no time for the internet? What crap is that!!!
10. It was only by luck, large amounts of luck, that none of the children ended up looking like this by the end of the afternoon!!
So, Day Care Providing career...down the drain! I'm thinking about attempting to be trapeze artist next ...