Jun 13, 2009

How do you Moderate your Comments?

My husband and I have been discussing this for most of the morning. Have you ever had to delete comments posted to your blog? How did you deal with telling the commenter after you deleted it?

I know the "Mom Wars" are going on right now. The Good vs. The Bad. And I am so torn in my own opinions with these blog posts. I can only imagine the comments that are getting posted on each one!!! I couldn't do a post like that. I would have a really hard time letting people post mean things on my blog. I am a Comment Moderator. I can't help it. Granted I've never really had to delete more than one or two comments. One was only because someone had figured out my Big News before I posted it. LOL

However I did come upon a comment that made me uncomfortable to post on one of my blogs and I wasn't sure what to do with it. So originally I let it simmer, trying to consider my options. Then finally I just put it up. Although I can only imagine what that person must have felt wondering where their post went to, I was still somewhat unhappy to post something I did not fully feel comfortable with. At the very same time my "nice/people pleasing" self just couldn't upset that person and leave it out because I could not figure out a way to explain why I didn't want to share it without possibly upsetting that person further.

How do you deal with this? Has it ever happened to you? Can someone please explain to me why I am incapable of upsetting people even after they have upset me? Possibly I should reread this previous post eh?

(Sorry, couldn't resist the picture...it's one of my favorites!)

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14 comments:

Danyelle said...

*hopes she has never been the cause of moderation*

O:)

This is a hard one. Fortunately, I've never had this problem, and I hope I never do. If I had to deal with this (theoretically), I would probably just quietly remove it. If this became an issue later on, then I would talk to the poster. :)

Scott said...

I have it set up so that I have to approve comments. I did this mainly to avoid deragatory comments on my other blog where I rant about politics, injustice, and all that jazz. I also did it because my sister-in-law had a problem where someone embedded an ad into the comment they left on her site. She was not a happy camper. So, I get a message in my InBox anytime someone leaves a comment, then I go to Blogger and publish the comment. It works for me.

S

~Jamie said...

IT's my blog... ultimately I control the content... so I just post what I wanna post when I want to...

... was the post from me? Now I am all worried LOL

plus... I wouldn't notice if my post didn't go up--because I don't exactly look back at all the comments I make.

Katie said...

Hello, I haven't left comments to your blog before so (whew) it wasn't me :)
Ultimately the blog is about the blogger, and we are sharing ourselves with others. If people cant play nice, then expect not be posted. Some people are OK with 'anything goes' and others aren't, and the person posting the comments needs to be aware and respect it.

Jessica said...

Eeeps! I didn't leave a bad one, did I?

I don't really moderate my comments. I've had a few suspicious ones that looked like spam so I deleted them.

On Myspace I accepted a friend request from a guy because he said he was a writer. Then the next day he sent a "you're cute". I deleted him and told him it was unprofessional. LOL Does that seem mean to you? One of my best friends thought I was crazy and overreacting, but I have my boundaries and though I didn't want to hurt his feelings, neither was I comfortable with leaving that comment on my picture.

You have to do what's right for you. :-) If it's someone you regularly interact with, then you might want to bite the bullet and let them know why you deleted it and that you hope they understand.

Sticky situation though. :-( I hope everything works out. (And if you ever delete my comments, please don't feel bad! Just tell me so that I know what is okay to say and what's not)I agree too, with the others, that this is your blog, your rules. :-)

Katie said...

Hey girl - I've deleted two comments from my posts before. They were soliciting their own stuff and it had nothing to do with my blog. So I got rid of them. Sorta felt bad. But it didn't last long. :)

Jody Hedlund said...

I haven't had that come up yet. But I'm sure I will! I had some nasty requests on Twitter, though. Looked almost like porno. I totally blocked them and didn't feel bad about it at all!!

Alexia said...

I delete the spam comments - does that count? LOL

I never go back to see if my comment is there so I wouldn't worry about deleting something and not informing the commenter. It's doubtful they will notice.

I'm a people-pleaser also, so I tend to leave comments up, even if they irk me to no end (I've had a couple...).

Krista Phillips said...

I, like everyone else, hope I"m not the culprit! If I ever am (i really try not to!) feel free to delete, LOL.

I don't "moderate" my comments and have never had one I felt I needed to delete. BUT, I would not hesistate to delete one that had profanity.

I wouldn't delete just because I didn't agree with someone, however, I can see where, if someone put something that was rude or mean towards other bloggee's, I'd delete it in a heart beat.

It IS my blog, and I have a right to control content. But, I don't want to be comment drill sergeant either either. LOL.

CMOM Productions said...

If you aren't comfortable with a comment on your blog, don't post it. Simply saying "I'm sorry but I wasn't comfortable posting your comment, I hope you understand." I'm all for "free speech" but this blog reflects you. The comments posted are associated with you & your blog, so ultimately you have to decide what's best for you.

marymac said...

Poppins,
Stop deleting my comments.
ahur.
just kiddin
you are A PUBLISHER. don't forget it. i only regret deleting a comment recently because in retrospect it would've been entertaining to my readers to see it.

CMOM Productions said...

PS Cookie Monster rocks!!!

Marybeth Poppins said...

It wasn't any of my regular commentors. And it wasn't offensive really. Just kinda awkwardly inappropriate. Well anywho. Thanks for all the great advice. I need to keep in mind that it's my blog and thus I make the decisions! :D

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