Gnome Approved Book Review and Author Interview

I had mentioned last week that I had been reading a few books and finished on in just one day.

I absolutely Loved it! Let me introduce you the Gnome Approved (VERY Gnome approved) book Pretty Is as Pretty Dies by one of my fellow blogging friends Elizabeth Spann Craig over at Mystery Writing is Murder.



The book is about an elderly woman, Myrtle Clover, who goes to great lengths to proves she not just an old bat. She is determined to show her son, and the rest of the small Southern city, that she is not ready to be put out to pasture just yet. When a woman is murdered in this small town, she believe solving it will prove them all wrong.

Parke Stockard isn't just any woman though, she new in town and gobbling up every ounce of real estate that no one wants to sell. She's rich, she's beautiful and she's VERY persuasive - think Edy Brit - and she has MANY enemies. So when Myrtle takes on this murder mystery, she has no idea what she is in for, especially when the murder catches on to her suspicions and attempts to take her life.

I loved every moment of this book. The characters are painted so vividly and I could picture every one as though they were standing before me. The twists and turns of the plot keep you hooked and just when you think you figured out who done it...you're wrong! I highly recommend Elizabeth's book and cannot wait till the next book in the series.

After reading the book, Elizabeth gave me the chance to ask her a few questions. Being an aspiring novelist myself, I jumped at the chance to interrogate...um I mean... question a newly published author!

Me: Is this the first book you’ve written?

Elizabeth: This is the second book I’ve written, the first for this publisher. Books 3 and 4 are waiting in the wings for publication.

Me: How many months/years/decades (just kidding) did it take you to find an agent to represent you?

Elizabeth: I actually negotiated the contract for “Pretty is as Pretty Dies” myself! I found an agent several weeks later who was a huge help with my Penguin books contract. Soooo….let’s see. It took seven years to get an agent. And I was already published (two books) when I finally got one.

Me: What was the biggest challenge with writing this book? With Editing? With getting published?

Elizabeth: The biggest challenge with writing is always time. I’m a stay at home mom, but chores, cooking, and errands compete for my time. Editing is worst when I know I’m going to have to rewrite an entire plotline because the timing is off (happens every book.) Getting published---the challenge was getting out of the slush pile. I think I’ve had some freakishly good luck.

Me: How long have you been writing?

Elizabeth: I’ve written since I was little. I was a journalist for a short while, then I tried my hand at novels in 2002.

Me: Have you always written mystery?

Elizabeth: I love reading mysteries, so they’re easiest for me to write. I’ve tried writing chick-lit, YA, and children’s books, but the genres don’t seem good fits for me. I might try again later. Me: What authors inspire you?

Elizabeth: M.C. Beaton, J.K. Rowling, Deborah Crombie, Elizabeth George

Me: Who is your favorite character in this book? Least favorite?

Elizabeth: I love Myrtle. Her good traits belong to my grandmother and father and her bad traits are mine. I can’t stand Erma Sherman. And she’s based on a real life person. :)

Me: I see this is a series…are we thinking like a (Excuse the Agatha Christie references here…but we practically have then entire collection on my book shelf!) Hercule Piorot type of series, or more of a Ms. Marple thing?

Elizabeth: Oh, gosh, if only I could rank in comparison to Christie! Hmm. Maybe a combination of Marple and Poirot. Or maybe early Miss Marple when she was a little more abrasive (remember how she changed in the series?)

Me: What is the biggest piece of advice you can give to all us aspiring novelists out here?

Elizabeth: Write a little every day….set small, attainable goals. Learn to write in pediatric waiting rooms, while Spongebob plays in the background, and at swimming pools. We moms have to grab our moments! There’s no time like the present.

Me: And the most important question! Who designed that rockin book cover of yours!

Elizabeth: Can you believe I don’t even know? All the emails I received about it said ‘the Midnight Ink art department.’ They’re really well-known for their covers, though: check out their site at http://www.midnightinkbooks.com/index.php for more awesome covers.

And thanks so much for hosting me, Marybeth! This has been fun.

So here it is kids, my first book review! And it couldn't have been on a better book. Take a moment to visit Elizabeth's Blog and Website if you haven't already. She is always incredibly informative and usually quite witty.

Thanks Elizabeth for giving me the chance to read and review your book!!! I loved every minute of it!

Pretty Is as Pretty Dies can be purchased starting August 1st (Tomorrow!!!)

Purchase through independent bookstores at http://tinyurl.com/njqtw4

or

Purchase from Barnes and Noble at http://tinyurl.com/kmlpqj

You will NOT be disappointed! Good Luck Elizabeth! This gnome award is for you!!!


Like her characters, Elizabeth Spann Craig’s roots are in a small, Southern town. She grew up in Anderson, South Carolina, where she spent most of her childhood in the county library, staggering out with books by the armful.

Her magazine articles have appeared in both England and the United States.

She’s the mother of two and currently lives in Matthews, North Carolina. Between juggling room mom duties, refereeing play dates, and being dragged along as chaperone/hostage on field trips, she dreams of dark and stormy nights beside stacks of intriguing mysteries with excellent opening lines.

Evil in Unexpected Places

I read one of the best Blog Posts yesterday. Rachelle Gardner wrote about Finding Truth in Unlikely Places (AKA: Desperate Housewives) It was beautiful the way she crafted something so wholesome out of a show people tend to find so trashy. Being a big fan of the show, I agreed with every word. (And contemplated sending the post to my mother to prove that I don't just watch smut!)

Today I do the exact opposite. I am going to point out Evil in Unexpected Places. My post roots from an insanely entertaining post on Mindless Musings by Elana Johnson entitled 4 out of 5 Bejeweled Blitz Games Agree. She decided the game was like a magic 8 ball. If she scored over 50K it was a yes, anything under was a no. I read through the comments and noticed everyone had happy things to say about this game. I'd even seen posts about the game on facebook.

Innocent enough. Just a small bit of fun to pass some time.

WRONG

Evil

Pure Evil

Bejeweled Blitz is much worse than Collapse, Text Twist, and even Diner Dash (*gasp!* a game worse than Diner Dash! Yes...even the beloved Flo on the Go - which incidentally is not as "monthly" as it seems)

The game is wicked fast and damn near impossible to see...Wait...no...that's a Snitch...

Well it is wicked fast. You get one minute. ONE MINUTE to play and try to earn over 100K so you can rank in at LEAST 3rd place.

Have I mentioned how competitive I am? No...good...

So anyway. This is my first post about Evil in Unexpected Places. The next one will possibly be about how No Bake Cheese Cake makes dieting impossible or the addiction called "Twilight" or possibly even facebook itself. But for now, I'll just leave you with a little bit Evil. I don't want to corrupt you all in one sitting!

Who cares about Lions and Tigers and Bears!

We are talking about Mice and Dreams and Comcast! OH MY!!! This is much scarier than some big furry beasts if you ask me...

I mean seriously...mice...still furry beasts, but they aren't the big angry kind. No these little critters are much worse.

These tiny little fur balls look all cute and innocent...oh yeah...I admitted it...In certain light, at first glance, for one small moment while they are cleaning their dirty little fur, they momentarily look cute and innocent...MOMENTARILY I say! We all know however, they are anything BUT! Stupid little poop leaving vermin that eat my crumbs and scurry through my kitchen and spread nasty little disease through my house! Bitter? Why why would you say that? I don't THINK I sounded bitter... Oh, you caught it from the last sentence...well ok, yeah I'm bitter...

That dang little mouse crawled up into my insanely (because I'm anal about cleaning and crumbs and such) foodless bedroom last night and just stared at my husband and I. He looked at us as if we were old friends.

"Sup," the little critter said nodding to us.

We stared at him in fascination. My husband called him a "Bold Little Guy" .

Bold? Bold is not the word I was looking for. I was looking for stupid, idiotic, and with some nerve. My bedroom!!!!

Poison has been put out - we were out of traps....sigh - and it has been taken. Now hopefully the "Bold Little Guy" is found by my furry little husband and not me!

Moving along...

Dreams...irritating. I want to be having dreams about fantasy worlds and things that can inspire my writing. NOT dreams about old friends and nostalgia. That's just silly! Can someone find me the dream fairy so we can have a "talk" about the dreams that are NOT coming my way.

Moving along...

Comcast. Ever had to deal with them? Or should I just say cable/internet/phone companies all together....I could. But do yours call themselves "Comcastic!" Seriously! What is so "Comcastic" about my internet going down all the time and having a bunk modem?


So this my friends is why Mice, Dreams and Comast are way creepier and exceptionally MORE irritating than Lions and Tigers and Bears.

Just thought you oughta know!

Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time there was a little girl named Marybeth. Every morning she would wake up and perform the same rituals. First she would check her emails, facebook and twitter. Then she would read through all her favorite blogs and comment on as many as possible. After this the inevitable torture would begin. What to write a blog about today? Usually it was pretty easy. She was after all cute and smart and funny! But this day was not like the others. Her mind raced with inadequate ideas.

Gnomes? Nope...already been done.

Her book! No....there is a new website for that. Plus, it's best not to talk about THAT mess right now.

The kids? Well they hadn't really been that entertaining lately. She would be having a strict talk with them about that! How dare them not be funny!

The husband...She was pretty sure no one wanted to hear about HTML and CSS. She would have to have a talk with him about not being cool enough to blog about as well.

She could blog about her ugly/smelly/inner city house...but that would be complaining...she had a different blog for that too

Food? Not much to say about numerous days in a row of eating chicken.

Legos...her thoughts tralied away as she stepped on one!

She was at a loss. Her smart funny mind was not working properly. She started to breath heavy and sweat. What would her followers think of her? They'd be so disappointed! She grabbed a paper bag in haste, taking a few deep breaths and calmed down ever so slowly.

She'd just do what every blogger does when they are having a bad blog day. She'd post a Picture!

And then she felt better and lived Happily Ever After.

The End!

My To Do List Today

First I need to fold about 5 baskets of these!


Then I have to use a bunch of these...To clean my house for before a friend comes over tomorrow.

Then I have to find ANOTHER chicken recipe so
I can do a little bit of this before my husband comes home

I need to get rich so I can hire me one of these!

General Warning

I thought it might be fair to let you all know what you've gotten yourself into here...reading my blog that is. Just some general warnings to what kind of person writes your FAVORITE blog posts. Just so you know...

My first car was a Ford Escort....and I LOVED it!

This is as close as I get to looking sexy!

I love to Eat Microphones sing

I believe that holding penguins and smiling
in Public places is VERY acceptable

I can sometimes be found hidden beneath tables

I love GNOMES! (ok ok...you already knew that!)

I um...like to kiss big balls that light up??

And this is how I dress for a night out on the town!
...For a Mega 80's Concert...

So now that we've gotten that out of the way....

I think it's safe to say...I missed you!

You may have noticed yesterday that I did not comment on your blogs or on mine. I apologize. I was out of the house 90% of the day. Thank goodness I barely noticed being away from the computer. I could probably do it every day. It was like I completely forgot the computer existed.

....

.......

............

Oh. My. Goodness. It. Was. AWFUL!!!

I woke up and had about 10 minutes to post the pre-written blog I had prepared. I glanced at my Dashboard and used every ounce of will power available not to start reading them all. (It was almost physically painful!) I tore myself away from my pretty glowy monitor and got ready to go to a friends.

I spent an hour and a half in the car, unable to even check the email on my phone. I had to set the vehicle on Cruise because my knees began to shake and bounce at an uncontrollable pace. I settled for man handling my daughters iPod and skipping numerous songs just so I could push the buttons.

When I arrived at my friends I quickly glanced at my phone, seeing email just sitting in my inbox. I took a deep breath, put the phone in my pocket and moved forward. I knew I could do this...I could be a technology free woman for at least 5 hours...right??? So we got in her house and I set the phone down and everyone started visiting. After about a hour I mentioned I was missing my phone. This was a good sign. I had already forgotten where I set it down. I was overcoming my addiction! (Or I was possibly in really good company...most likely the second option) When she stood up and mentioned she better grab her phone too I took a sigh of relief. I wasn't alone.

So I nervously snuck a few rapid glances at my emails here and there when no one was looking, reading everyone's comments on my blog, just wishing I could comment back. Had she turned up the air? It was getting kinda hot. I bit my lip. I hoped the beads of sweat didn't glisten too brightly, and thankfully my arm pits remained dry.

When the afternoon was over we said our goodbyes. We then headed home to pick up my husband from work. Another hour and a half in the car. Luck was on my side when the children fell asleep and couldn't see me scratching my skin off and yelling at the radio stations and the now dead iPod. My finger crashed into the steering wheel controls with force every time a good song failed to reveal itself. The car ride was unbearable.

But I made it ....with skin in tact...clothes not quite soaked (partially because I had a sudden onset of major chills)...and only a small, somewhat inconspicuous twitch in my left eye.

I arrived to my husbands job about fifteen minutes prior to the end of his work day. SCORE! I rambled through all my emails, checked my facebook statuses, updated my own, and twittered. A small portion of my heart still yearned to read all my favorite blogs, but I ignored the burn and smiled at my husband now entering the car.

We got home and had to eat quickly. It was gym night. I whined and pouted, my arm slightly extended towards the computer, complained that I did not want to go. He dragged me by the hair...I mean gently explained we had made a commitment. I went.

In the gym....no service...left eye twitch becoming not so inconspicuous....

When we returned home "So You Think You Can Dance" was on. UGH! What was with all these road blocks! I ran to my computer during one short commercial, blazing through each website, barely having time to pee, which of course was the "real" reason I had come upstairs. Luckily the dancers were, as always, phenomenal and I barely remembered my forgotten blogs.

By this time it was 10pm. I was tired. The strain from being away from the computer had broken me down. I couldn't take it anymore. I passed out in the fetal position...I mean fell asleep.

So friends I just want you to know. You are lucky I am still alive. I barely made it. I swear!

But I'm back. I've read all my favorite blogs. Commented on as many as I had time for and now I am calm and relaxed. Let's just hope that never happens again shall we!

See how much I love you guys!!!!

Feeling the Love

Yesterday I received a blog award from dear blogger/writer friend Sherrinda. She just recently finished her first novel and the two of us have been following each others' journeys as writers. Her blog A Writer Wannabe is fabulous! Please take a moment to check it out :) I am honored to be one of her favorite blogs!

The blog award rules are as follows (which according to rule #5 I am required to post here):

1. Each Superior Scribbler must in turn pass The Award on to 5 most-deserving Bloggy Friends.
   
2. Each Superior Scribbler must link to the author & the name of the blog from whom he/she has received The Award.


3. Each Superior Scribbler must display The Award on his/her blog, and link to This Post, which explains The Award.


4. Each Blogger who wins The Superior Scribbler Award must visit this post and add his/her name to the Mr. Linky List. That way, we’ll be able to keep up-to-date on everyone who receives This Prestigious Honor!


5. Each Superior Scribbler must post these rules on his/her blog.

The 5 people I'm passing this award to:

1. Strawberry Seeds

2. Legend of the Protectors

3. Mystery Writing is Murder

4. Jill Kemerer

5. Myth Takes

It's so hard to decide who to give these awards to! I love everyone's blogs and this is only a fraction of how many I read every day (And I refuse to say how big or small that fraction may be) I'm thrilled to be part of the blogoshpere and I am so happy to have made so many online friends! You guys are awesome!!!

An Evening at the Gym

6:40 - Arrive at gym (We try to get there earlier...but it usually takes forever to get our stuff together, get the kids ready and make sure we're all fed! Why did I have 3 kids again?)

6:45 - After unpacking all 5 back packs, all the tennis rackets and 3 children we head into the gym.

6:46 - Scan membership card as children rush past us to the nursery. Try to catch up with children with haste.

6:53 - Children have been signed in (stating they got there at 7pm...shhhhh), nursery lead has been introduced to all 3 monsters, monsters have been threatened (for about the 5th time) that they will NOT go swimming if they are do not behave. Time to head to the tennis courts.

6:55 - Go to reserve a court before we change. (Made the mistake of reserving it after we changed once...ended up on the outside courts with the sun glaring in our eyes and mosquitoes eating my legs as I served)

7:10 - How sad is it that it takes two full grown adults 15 minutes to change into their gym clothes? Well now that we are changed we grab our (tennis)balls and walk out to our assigned court.

7:12-8:00 - Tennis! YAY! To give you a mental picture....imagine two full grown adults (well one looks about 12 ... but still) flailing their arms and rackets all over the place, missing most returns, barely able to hold a volley, and balls flying all over the place. We ROCK!

8:05-8:20 - Put away the rackets and give a mad dash to the cardio/weights room. Hubs usually works on weights while I force myself to run a mile...usually completed within 10 to 12 minutes. I kinda look silly running and I'm not sure why I force myself to do so. I can barely keep on the treadmill without holding on to the handles! I kinda look like a drunk trying to run in place. It's not a pretty picture.

8:20 - 8:25 - Mad dash to the showers. Take the worlds quickest shower and slap on a bathing suit, then cover it up with a large t-shirt.

8:25 - MAD dash to make it to the nursery to recover the kids before our hour and a half is up. (After which the rate goes from $1 per kid for an hour and a half to $2 per kid for 10 minutes!) Emphasis on MAD dash

8:27-8:45 - Help children get into bathing suits. SHOULD be an easy task, unfortunately it is not

8:45 - 9:15 - Even after an hour and a half of working out, we must now endure another 30 to 45 minutes of swimming with our three children. Usually the water is cold and I am super tired. But apparently the kids enjoy themselves....sigh

9:15 - 9:30 - Get everyone into PJ's and head home...AFTER gathering up the 5 back packs, tennis rackets and now 3 tired children

We get home about 9:45...and what do the kids do? Go to be would be the ideal answer...but no...

"Can we have a snack!?!?!"

Sigh...

Have I mentioned I was tired this morning?

Reading, Writing and......Harry Potter?

I don't think those would pass as the core classes at a school ... although they SHOULD!

No, this is what my weekend consisted of, in no particular order....

Aside from the usual grocery shopping (pay day Friday and all), errand running, finally having my daughter come back home and all the other completely boring things we accomplished over the weekend, I couldn't help but treat myself to a few of my favorite things. (Why yes...I did just sing that as I wrote the words. Don't lie, you know you did too!!!)

So I read 1 & 1/4 books. The first one I adored!!! Couldn't put it down. It was a murder mystery - and since I am incredibly impatient and can't stand NOT knowing who done it - I could not put down until the mystery had been solved. (Name of book to come later...how is THAT for a mystery!!!) The second one, the one I am having a hard time getting into, is the first in the "Sookie Stackhouse" series by Charlaine Harris, Dead Until Dark. (It's the series they based the show True Blood upon) I'm only 1/4 of the way into it, so I am sure I just haven't given it enough time, but I am having a rough time getting it to hold my attention. Has anyone else read this book? Did you have the same problem at first? Does it get better?

After an incredibly entertaining dream about parallel realities and the house I grew up in, (which incidentally my father posted the link to it that afternoon because it is now for rent! OMG WHAT did they do to my bedroom!!!) my mind once again began to swarm with ideas about a novel I had previously thought up. After spending two hours in bed writing the entire back story and then another hour or so online coming up with names to every character, then editing the prologue a bit AND writing the first page of the first chapter I am super excited to say I have a new novel in progress!!! Which is really good actually considering a really need a break from the first one.

And of course...on opening weekend...who could leave out Harry Potter! I knew my husband wanted to kinda see it, and I assumed my kids would enjoy it too. (Why I assumed a 4, 6, and 8 year old would enjoy a 2 1/2 hour movie is beyond me!) So I had this ingenious thought to go to the 11:25 showing on Sunday morning. It would be before noon -aka CHEEPER - and I figured who is going to want to go to an 11:25 am showing on a Sunday...that's Church time!! (um yeah....I just confessed to not going to Church didn't I....CRAP!) So at 11:10am we loaded the car up and hurried our butts to the theater. Shouldn't be a problem...right!?!? WRONG. We ended up sitting in the VERY FIRST row. The only one available with 5 seats. So as we craned our necks to watch the 2 1/2 hour movie I also took the time to make sure everyone's popcorn was refilled, drinks were shared properly, and each child stopped squirming in annoying ways as my husband enjoyed the movie. So with one squiggly/bored 4 year old in my lap, I was able to watch about 2/3rds of the entire movie, surprisingly without a neck ache! (Thank Goodness I saw the opening show a few days prior!)

And that was my weekend! How was yours? Exciting I hope!

***Read MORE about my new Story HERE!!!***

Little Bitty

"It's all right to be Little bitty..."

And I should know, seeing as I am considerably Little Bitty myself. It was even my nick name at one point, Little Bit. Actually there are a number of things that are super cool and Little Bitty...

1. Gnomes!!! Little Bitty gnomes ROCK!!!2. My kids are super mini...barely on the charts. Ok who am I kidding, they aren't on the charts. But they are WAY COOL! (Ususually...)



3. Let's be frank...dogs and cats are WAY better when they are Little Bitty Babies. Way Cuter!



4. Can you say "Mini Edward"?!?!

Ok well he's probably not AS COOL as the real one...but still....

5. Ummm....mini carrots are kinda cool. Way easier to eat!


See! Little Bitty is kinda awesome...

So I've made a few Little Bitty changes to the side bar of my blog. I added a picture of and link to my Website. I've also added a little "Grab My Button" a bit more towards the bottom. What do you think? Feel free to follow the links and/or grab my button. Oh yeah and I also added the link to Become a Fan of my Facebook Page. Feel free to do that too!!!

Don't make Jesus Angry!

My daughter is spending the week with Grandma and Grampa this week. Thursday is settling in and I'm starting to get very impatient for her return. I thought as a tribute I would share one my favorite conversations with her.

She was about 4 or 5 at the time and had just started going to Catechism Classes. We were in Target and she had been running around so I stuck her in the cart. She then started to beg for a new toy or something of the sort.

"No," I said to her. "You have not been behaving yourself. We don't buy toys for little girls who are naughty."

"But mommy," she began reasoning. "Jesus wants me to have a toy."

"Yeah?" I said.

"Yes, and if you don't listen to Jesus you will make him angry. It's naughty to make Jesus angry!" She explained with such eloquence. "So you NEED to buy me a toy."

Ahhhhh....young children. She's quite creative when it comes to getting her way. I seriously had to fight back laughter at that point. At least I know she was listening in class!

***Do you love my blog? (that was a rhetorical question of course!) Become a Fan on Facebook!!!***

YAWN...my adventure last night...

I know I know, I brought it upon myself. I was the crazy chick who waiting in line for 3 hours an hour or just to see the midnight showing of Harry Potter. I completely admit it.

I did NOT however intend to stay up til 4am because my loving husband who failed to use common sense forgot that I didn't have a key to the deadbolt lock and locked me out of the house last night.

As if this was not embarrassing enough...my cousin had decided to spend the night so she wouldn't have to drive an hour and a half at 3am to get home. So now there were TWO people locked out of my house.

My neighbors must have thought there was a crazy lunatic breaking into my house. The idiot who sleeps harder than any other human being I know lovely man failed to wake up to the sound of his phone, thus I was forced to pound gently knock on the door hoping someone would hear. I failed.

We then tried to break in through the window, it was locked. (It's NEVER locked...seriously...why is it locked the one and only time I'm locked out of the house at 3:45am?)

So I took my homemade flashlight (AKA Cell Phone) and worked my way into the back yard, (Have I ever told you I have a woodchuck living in my back yard? No...another time then) being careful not to upset the wild life. When I got to the back slider, which unfortunately was ALSO locked...sigh... I again began to bang as hard as I could knock a little bit harder. No luck.

So I threw something at my sons window...hoping it would wake him. No chance. (these boys sleep like rocks I tell ya!)

Back to the front. Knock again a LOT little bit louder, hoping I am not waking the neighbors. FAIL

I tried to throw pebbles at my bedroom window, but quickly found out this was useless.

Back to the back yard, knock some more.

Return to the front yard, tried the window again.

Back...front..back...tried calling his phone again...front...UGH

Then I look down at my keys, ready to submit to two hours a night of sleeping in my car... and the most obvious thing in the world dawns on me...THE CAR ALARM!!!! (Sorry surrounding neighbors...I was desperate!) I tried it once...no luck...SERIOUSLY. I knocked on the door again. (I don't know why!) Finally, with my last OUNCE of desperation (and knowing I am about to see the cops round the corner at any point now!) I try the car alarm one more time. (Have I mentioned that my cousin is cracking up at me the entire time?)

Finally, at 4AM, from the window above, as if it were Juliet speaking to Romeo...wait...that's not how it worked!....from the window above, my husband says, "What do you want?"

Why yes, the window HAD indeed been open the entire time, and NO, he had not heard any of the commotion going on below!

Conclusions...

My house is incredibly safe. I do not fear any burglars breaking in anytime soon!

We REALLY need to find the key to the dead bolt

My husband is not a reliable source when calling my house in the middle of the night in ANY type of emergency...next time I leave with the phone on TOP of his head!

Is it sad that I wouldn't mind THIS man
breaking in to my house?

Conference Envy

It's not a compensation thing...I promise!

I am super jealous of everyone going to RWA this week. And insanely envious of those going to Blogher 09 the week after that. And although I don't really write Christian Fiction, I still really want to go to ACFW in September. I'm usually not one to break out the Big Green Monster BUT I am totally wanting to go to a conference of some sort even if it is just the AAH (ok so I probably wouldn't get much out of an Art History conference...but STILL!) . There are a few reasons behind this recent urge.

1. I want to learn! I want to soak in all the knowledge to become a better writer and blogger

2. I want to meet more people in the industry(s) I love networking with others who get what I do. It's relieving to know I'm not the only one lacking sanity who loves to write!

3. I want to get away from my children. I am in need of a small break and would like to get out and see more of the world.

4. I love hotels and conferences and anything that has to do with big social events where I can get to know new people and socialize.

5. I want to get in front of the Important People! I want to be able to send a query and say "We spoke at so and so conference."

6. Did I mention that I want to get away from my children learn more about writing and craft?

7. OMG they have Karaoke at Blogher 09!!! (Sorry...that is just a large selling point for this former Karaoke DJ!)

8. Seriously! I really DO want to learn more!

9. Chicago, New York, Washington DC!!! Seriously!

10. And I really want to learn more about writing and blogging of course...

So to all of you going to conferences this year, You suck! Istick out my tongue to you!

Next year....next year friends!

A Dish to Pass

Day two of the Harry Potter Marathon begins in one hour! I can't believe the 6th movie is less than 48 hours away!

*Poppins squeals in delight*

So we are going over to a friends for a play date and to watch the 3rd and 4th movies since we watched the first 2 over here on Friday. The kids are excited to go play in a basement full of toys that they do not own. (Not to be confused with us locking the kids in a dark dreary basement as we watch Harry Potter...just saying...)

As a play date tradition the hostess makes lunch and the visitors bring a "Dish to Pass". Love this tradition, especially when lunch isn't at my house. Nothing better than getting out of one of your daily chores!

Driving back from dropping my hubs off to work I decided that there is nothing in our house that is "Dish to Pass" worthy. I know a trip to Meijer is in order and I decide to ask the boys (daughter is at the In Laws for the week) for ideas.

Older son says, "I don't know mom, the only side dish I like is Apple Sauce."

Fair enough. Kind of an odd thing to bring. I pushed them for more ideas.

I said, "How bout some fruits or veggies."

No Response.

"No more ideas then?" I asked.

"We should bring butter!" Younger son exclaims.

How to NOT go crazy while dealing with your children during Summer Vacation

(My first attempt at a "How To" Article)

Things You'll Need:

• A closet with a door that closes

• A pillow
• A glass of wine

• A bathtub

• Soothing music

• Candles

1. Breath. This step is easier said than done when your children continue to chase each other around the house and refuse to refrain from screaming and arguing, but with much concentration, it can be accomplished.

2. When the screaming and arguing becomes intense, instead of yelling at the children who for some reason only feel that there is one Lego man that they ALL need (even though there is a box full of them), quietly grab a pillow, walk to the closet, shut the door and happily scream as loud as you can into the pillow until you feel slightly relieved.

3. If all fails wait until your husband arrives home. Greet him and swiftly walk away, leaving him surrounded by the monsters.

4. Pour a LARGE glass of wine.

5.At this point it is important to lock yourself in the bathroom with some candles, the tall glass of wine and take a bubble bath while listening to your favorite/soothing music.

6. Repeat as OFTEN as necessary.

* WARNING: Do not over drink while in bathtub, it is not safe nor recommended.

Writing a How To Guide

I recently (as in 5 minutes ago) joined the eHow website as a way to earn some extra money while at the same time being able to write. Here are some of the topics they suggested I write about...

How to Wrap Hair at Bedtime

How to Wrap Hands How to Write a Thriller Script

How to Write an Adult Film

How to Write an HTML Email

How to Write Bb Clarinet Music

How to Write Greeting Cards

How to Build a Fiberglass Overhead Console

How to Soundproof a Bedroom

How to Touch Up Car Paint

How to Wear a Baby Sling

Sadly I do not know "How to" do ANY of these things, unless you count pulling out the nail polish to cover up the scratch you put on daddy's mustang the same as touching up car paint. Yes even the Baby Sling eludes me. I just carried my babies. And although writing about "How to write and Adult Film" sounds enticing. (About as enticing as writing about "How to pull of your finger nails") I think I am a bit lost.

If I am sticking with things I DO know how to do, then my list is going to look a bit more like this...

How to Choose Which Color Pen to Edit With (Pink of course!)

How to Travel with a Gnome by Your Side

How to Sweep a Floor 10 Times a Day

How to Put off Doing the Laundry All Week

How to Drink a Glass of Wine

How to Convince a Four Year Old to Take a Nap

How to Annoy Your Husband (by Writing All Day instead of Cooking Dinner)

How to Pull of a Clean House in the Last 10 Minutes Before Your Husband Gets Home

How to Eat a Tub of Raspberry Sorbet in One Serving

How to Prepare for the Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince Movie

How to Microwave a Hot Dog

Now THESE things I could write articles about....do you think I'm on the right track?

Burning Questions

It's and Open Question day. YAY!!! I'm giving you the chance to ask me anything you want. What are your Burning Questions? What do you want to know about me?

TELL ME :)

Stay tuned as well...some Awesome changes coming to my website! Me and the Hubs are excited!

Security Objects

***I miss you guys over at my other blog/website!!! My comment section is missing some of my favorite commentors with all their writing expertise and advice! If you get a moment, try to visit!***

Everyone, this is Ruffy. Poor lonely puppy who got left on the swing during the Forth of July celebration. I love this puppy. He does not belong to me however, he belongs, everlastingly adored, to my youngest son.

I can't remember having a stuffed animal that I worshiped like my son does this puppy, but I did have a blanky. Isn't it amazing how children get attached to such objects. This puppy was originally bought for my daughter while I was pregnant for my middle son, neither of them paid it any attention. But when the youngest grabbed it for the first time, they became eternally bonded. These objects of security go everywhere with my children. My daughter doesn't really have one anymore (considering she is eight) but she has gone through a couple very important blankets and does have a sweet spot for a few of her stuffed animals. My middle son adopted a blanket my sister made for my daughter. It looks a mess now, but he refuses to let it go. And my youngest walks around with Big Ruffy and Baby Ruffy and has laid claim on about 3 or 4 blankets. I love it!

Do your children have a "Ruffy" or "Blanky"? Did you?

Vacation Hangover

YAWN!!

It's Monday already? How did the last 10 days go by so quickly?!?!

My Staycation was so LOVELY. I slept in every day and stayed up late reading every night. We accomplished many things, yard work being amongst the most important. We were lazy. Our diets went down the drain and our belly's were well fed. I made some massive headway (or the exact opposite...it's still up in the air) on my book. It was just the most lovely week ever!!!

And it's over.

Now I am stuck with a vacation hangover. You know what I'm talking about...I'm sure of this. It has nothing to do with booze or beer. No...this is the kind of hangover that can only come from having an entire week dedicated to relaxing and enjoyment, then having it END. Now I have an "I don't want to do the laundry" Headache, some "Oh crap, what am I going to cook for dinner!" Nausea, and a little "What do you mean we have to all wake up at 7am!" Dizzy Spells. And this all comes complete with an overwhelming urge to eat McDonald's French Fries!!! (Because no hangover would be complete with out it!)

Did you see my new photo on my WEBSITE? I LOVE IT!

Craigslist Listings Gone Bad

I could be wrong ... but I believe these things are SUPPOSED to be used ... slightly concerned!!!

ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT! - $150 -Gently down the stream? Are they selling a boat or a quartet that sings in rounds?

LETS GET PHYSICAL!!! - $75 - Can you sell that stuff on Craigslist?

Mount Hope Cemetery Plot - $500 - Apparently someone has risen from the dead and become immortal. They will no longer be needing this. But if it has already been used...I don't think I want to go near it.

Casket-Custom Built - $850 - Custome Built? Shouldn't this be a service and not a "General Item?"

3 things 4 sale - and they are.....

DOG WASTE PICK UP SERVICE ACCEPTING NEW CLIENTS - (TOP DOG POOPER SCOOPER SERVICE) pic - I'm not so sure I need to see a pic of this...but thanks!

Pure Romance Stock - Kay...if you KNOW what Pure Romance is, I can assure you probably don't want someone's USED stock!

HIHIHIHIHIHI HIGH WATT LIGHTS for PLANTS - And exactly WHAT KIND of plants do you think they were growing with these HIHIHIHIHIHIHI lights?

100' Communications Tower - $500 - I've always wanted one of these!?!?!?! Imagine the cellular coverage I could get!

Crutch for tall people - $5 - Well that's just not fair...always leaving out us short folk!

"fish" tank cover - "fish" not "snake" or "lizard"...can we say inappropriate use of " "...LOL

Cute Snowman - $20 - unavailable till the winter....

Buy my Yard Sale / Most of the Contents of My House - $3500 - I don't think that's gonna fit in the trunk of my car....

***LOVESEAT*** - $100 - Are we putting emphasis on the fact that it's a "Love" seat?

Dang its HOT....I have your Air Conditioner --SOLD...Thanks Bob - $40 - yeah so um...it's kinda warm outside...but you're out of luck!

stanly 1/4 midget for kids - $900 - Only a quarter Midget! And how do you get the clearance to sell midgets on Craigslist? And why is it only for kids? Why can't I buy a midget? (Possibly because I am practically one ... if my husband try's to sell a quarter of me.....)

Need a Bar For Your House? - Does it come fully stocked?

And then you always have the option to look for FREE stuff where you can find items like THIS!

Patio Chairs FREE -

***Don't forget to play catch up on my WEBSITE ... Hear about how my "relationship" with my novel is going!***