There are two major words that do not go together well in the same sentence...
But as most stories do, let's start from the beginning.
This beginning starts with a toilet ... a very old toilet.
The Husband (I so enjoy calling him "The Husband"!) and I had been dealing with a leaky toilet for over a week when I (The Wife!) said, "This is enough! It must be fixed!"
We should have left it alone.
So the toilet was so old that all the bolts and metal parts and pieces were corroded onto the tank.
Toilet - 1
Poppins Family - ZERO!
He said, "I'm going to need a pipe wrench."
So I get another bright idea after well over an hour of The Husband cussing and swearing and trying to break these bolts off.
"Why spend more money on more tools!" I rationalized. "By the time we get done buying parts and tools for this stupid commode we are going to have spent too much money."
And this is a very rational statement mind you...but what came out next may possible have been a slight bit .... I think crazy is the word I'm looking for here, but I'll totally go with insane!
"Lets stop wasting our money and just go buy a dang new toilet!"
Apparently The Husband thought this was a good idea too so he plopped the old toilet off and what we saw wasn't exactly pretty. (So graphic in fact that I decided not to include the pictures. I don't want to go scarring young eyes and then get sued and ... well you get the point)
The toilet has given us an Epic FAIL here. It must go!
So off to the lovely Home Depot we go. I opted to stay behind, but The Husband thought I should go for moral support.
After we picked out our Glacier Bay High Efficient Toilet with an 8 rated flushing power ...
... I say "Lets go look around!"
Have you ever been to the Home Depot? Do you know what's there? Thousands of home improvement projects just screaming to be done!!!
NEVER under any circumstances do you EVER say "Lets go look around!" at Home Depot.
Its like an alcoholic saying, "Lets just have one drink!"
But we go look around. And Poppins (that's me) bless her naive little soul gets such a great idea and says,
"Lets re-tile the floor too!"
Ok bear with me...I know this is getting long but the disasters that take place after this point are well worth the novel length post...
We pick out our new floor tiles, you know, the awesome peal and stick squares! They rock! We chat it up with some customer service reps about what we might encounter and they give us two scenarios.
The existing linoleum is either
1. Glued only around the edges and should be a breeze to remove.
2. Glued through the entire way and may take some scraping to get up.
But he also adds that sheet linoleum is rarely glued the entire way!
Customer Service Rep EPIC FAIL!
Not only is the existing linoleum glued through the entire way, but it seems that someone had a massive glue spill in the process of laying it down. That's right friends this stuff is not budging.
And the best part....
There is not only one layer of linoleum super glued to our floor, no, that would be way too easy. There are TWO layers of awesome over glued funness (this a a word today... no need to question it) stuck onto our super awesome bathroom floor.
How lucky are we!
It gets better...
While we are checking out just what we have in store for our Toilet Installing Extravaganza we notice one other little problem.
The 'Toilet Flange' (Oh my goodness how hilarious is that...Toilet Flange... Flange is a great word to begin with, but when coupled with Toilet! Fantastic!!!) was corroded and it was an absolute mess underneath that area.
So the flange is busted, the glue is over powering and the Bathroom is a MESS!
Oh and did I mention that the pipe that feeds the water also has a leak! Sweet lord of home improvement awesomeness, how could you love us so much!
So......two more trips to The Home Depot, two days of glue scraping, one afternoon of tile cutting (did I mention that my bathroom is NOT square?) and possibly a few tears later ... we have a newly tiled floor and a toilet sitting in our living room.
Yep that's right...we still have more work to do.
And I was kinda thinking it would be really cool to put in a new sink, repaint the walls and put up a new towel rack!
Seriously....why stop when we are having so much fun!
(So....did any of you think I was going to talk about something else????? Cuz you are so going to have to wait for that news!)