Apparently Roger The Ant's Family learned of his massacre. Or maybe the kids were right, maybe it wasn't Roger at all. Roger probably escaped shortly before the murder and scurried to tell the whole family...just as my daughter predicted! Regardless,all the brutality has sent them on a RAGE against our home.
I arrived home yesterday evening to find 10 of them planning their revenge on my kitchen counter. I couldn't let this go on...I enlisted the help of my husband and we quickly removed them from the premisis. Unfortunately, violence was used, but I sheltered my innocent children's eyes and let my husband at them with no mercy!
Shortly after the raid was complete, I left home to go to a party (A wine tasting party!!! Oh and Tupperware...but mainly wine tasting!) When I returned home, I removed my shoes and wobbled my way upstairs, holding onto the railing to keep balance. I looked down and saw three of them marching on my bedroom floor. I know I had a couple of glasses of wine and all, but surely I wasn't THAT tipsy... Although I have no other way to explain what I saw. I swear they had picketing signs that read "Hell No We Won't Go!" Oh, but they went!!!
I was positive we had won the battle, I didn't see more than 1 or 2 wandering my kitchen when I awoke this morning. I took care of those guys, introduced them to my dear friends, 409 and a paper towel. Then I sent them packing into their new home, my trash can. All was well. We took my daughter shopping for a birthday cake, she picked out one that had chocolate, more chocolate and was covered in chocolate. (I'm breeding a monster, of this I'm sure!) I set the cake on the counter and looked down and saw one lonely little ant running towards my microwave. I grabbed my bottle of 409, pushed over the kitchen appliance and found another 10 hiding out!!! They were all nicely huddled together, until they saw me. Once their beady little eyes made contact with my big angry face, they scattered in all directions. They were talking about me, I know it! So I silenced them.....
While at the store looking for our cake, I had a moment of "sympathy" wash over me. I decided it was best to be a bit more hospitable to our new house guests. So I bought them their own hotels! They are these Shabby Chic little hotels. They come equip with full bar, stocked with all the best "beverages" an Ant could want. What's better than a little sugar water, right!?!? Oh did I mention it was poisoned? Yeah, I didn't mention it to them either....I hope they feel right at home!
1 comment:
This is so hilarious! Thanks for the morning laugh!
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